Ahh, here it is again. This restlessness.
What am I waiting for? Or hoping for?
I can't determine if it's simply the days and months leading up to winter that cause this unsettledness in me, or if it's really something else. And what would that be, that something that brings disquiet to my mind and anxiety to my soul?
I don't recall if a year has ever passed by that I haven't felt this. It's so familiar and yet unwelcome.
Instead I desire peace and tranquility of mind and spirit.
But this is my reality. Oh, to change that. Would that I knew how.
10 November 2009
09 November 2009
Something I never wanted
Has anyone ever really wanted their face plastered on a billboard?
And by anyone, I mean any regular Joe-Schmoe. Maybe Hollywood personalities have desired that their whole lives, but by golly, I have not.
You could tell me to count my blessings because, in fact, I will not have my face on a billboard. However, just recently, I have been made the friendly face of the library for an advertisement that is to be a web page "banner" regarding our new Information Desk. They wanted a picture of it. Sure. No problem. With a person at it, okay, small problem. All librarians hate to have their pictures taken. And, I might conjecture, being a younger librarian, some believed it to be a good idea that younger faces = better advertisement. Breaking molds, removing stereotypes.
Thus I have found myself photographed at our Info desk, on a Friday morning, really not wanting to be there, and showing my Gottschalk chin. Dang it. Can't escape it. For the first time I look old.
Not my best moment. Too bad it was captured on film and is soon to be posted to the web site.
And by anyone, I mean any regular Joe-Schmoe. Maybe Hollywood personalities have desired that their whole lives, but by golly, I have not.
You could tell me to count my blessings because, in fact, I will not have my face on a billboard. However, just recently, I have been made the friendly face of the library for an advertisement that is to be a web page "banner" regarding our new Information Desk. They wanted a picture of it. Sure. No problem. With a person at it, okay, small problem. All librarians hate to have their pictures taken. And, I might conjecture, being a younger librarian, some believed it to be a good idea that younger faces = better advertisement. Breaking molds, removing stereotypes.
Thus I have found myself photographed at our Info desk, on a Friday morning, really not wanting to be there, and showing my Gottschalk chin. Dang it. Can't escape it. For the first time I look old.
Not my best moment. Too bad it was captured on film and is soon to be posted to the web site.
05 November 2009
Recent Addictions
I love it when the seasons pass by each other this time of year, the slight chill in the air requires soups and hot beverages enter the weekly, if not daily, diet.
In early October I began making soups. I've made several, although at this point I can't remember all of them. One was Alaina's Grandma's recipe for Cheesy Smoke Sausage soup. Delicious. Another was chili, which is always divine. Beef vegetable was really good, too. A new recipe.
I've been using the Crock Pot at least once a week, which Kyle thinks is slightly ridiculous, and he could complain about that were it not for the fact that he loves almost everything I've made (there have been, of course, a few bombs). Emily supplied a few cookbooks full of Crock Pot recipes, and I feel equipped for the winter months now.
ANother thing I decided in October was to start making a special concoction of cider, cranberry juice and cinnamon. I'm not even certain where the recipe came from, but it warms your home with the incredible smells of cooking apples and cinnamon. Plus, it is sweet and warms you right up.
Mid-October, I went directly to the Hot beverage aisle in Meijer and found my favorite tea medley: Celestial Seasonings' Fruit Tea Sampler. What's interesting to me is that they change one or maybe two of the fruit teas that make up this divine box. This year they added Blueberry. Now, I've had blueberry black tea before. It was pretty good, but it doesn't even hold a candle to the flavor of this one. Plus, this herbal version is caffeine free, a growing necessity in my life. I've had Blueberry tea every day this week. Mmm-Mmm-Good.
While I can't even pretend to like winter, I do like having hot things: food, soup, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider, and electric blankets. Those things are fun. So I guess I'm thankful there's a time of year where I can have or use all of these things in rapid succession for months on end.
Happy November!
In early October I began making soups. I've made several, although at this point I can't remember all of them. One was Alaina's Grandma's recipe for Cheesy Smoke Sausage soup. Delicious. Another was chili, which is always divine. Beef vegetable was really good, too. A new recipe.
I've been using the Crock Pot at least once a week, which Kyle thinks is slightly ridiculous, and he could complain about that were it not for the fact that he loves almost everything I've made (there have been, of course, a few bombs). Emily supplied a few cookbooks full of Crock Pot recipes, and I feel equipped for the winter months now.
ANother thing I decided in October was to start making a special concoction of cider, cranberry juice and cinnamon. I'm not even certain where the recipe came from, but it warms your home with the incredible smells of cooking apples and cinnamon. Plus, it is sweet and warms you right up.
Mid-October, I went directly to the Hot beverage aisle in Meijer and found my favorite tea medley: Celestial Seasonings' Fruit Tea Sampler. What's interesting to me is that they change one or maybe two of the fruit teas that make up this divine box. This year they added Blueberry. Now, I've had blueberry black tea before. It was pretty good, but it doesn't even hold a candle to the flavor of this one. Plus, this herbal version is caffeine free, a growing necessity in my life. I've had Blueberry tea every day this week. Mmm-Mmm-Good.
While I can't even pretend to like winter, I do like having hot things: food, soup, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider, and electric blankets. Those things are fun. So I guess I'm thankful there's a time of year where I can have or use all of these things in rapid succession for months on end.
Happy November!
18 October 2009
October 18th...a day to remember
It began as another typical weekend day. We overslept because of our ridiculously comfortable bed combined with a down comforter from heaven. I expected nothing spectacular.
Then, while entering some financial information into our monthly budget sheet, I had a HUGE realization. Today was the day we would become debt free.
I believe we began addressing the debt issue on a strategic basis in January of this year. That would mean that in 10 months we were able to knock out debt equal to one of our yearly salaries. This exceeds my imaginative powers.
We could not have done it alone. My sister coached us along, provided a fully-formulated worksheet into which we could plug our own financial state and see how to budget appropriately. My brother and his wife provided the reading material that would change our lives: Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I know Ramsey seems like a fad, but let me tell you that his plan is hard. It's painful. It's not fun, and yet it is 100% logical and in some ways fool-proof. If you follow what he says, you will find that the weight of your debt lifts quickly.
I also believe that when you are faithful to God with your resources, He will bless that. Thus, we had a great deal of one-time extra money come in this year, thousands of dollars, that also made this possible.
I'm in awe of this process, of how quickly (though at times it seemed long and impossible) we could create this budget, follow the guidelines, even managing a small vacation and some fun weekends with friends, and come out on top in less than a year. Praise the Lord!
To anyone who is discouraged about debt or money issues...I do highly recommend giving Dave Ramsey's solution a try. Even if you despise him, try it and see. You can even modify it to fit your lifestyle, to an extent. We didn't do the cash system because we don't have a bank nearby. We use a credit card, but we pay off every thing as soon as it shows up. We use a debit card. But we do keep track of everything we spend and we've spent less than we would have had we not wanted so badly to get out of debt.
Thanks to our parents and grandparents for the help they provided, and the examples of living responsibly and within one's means. Thanks to our friends and siblings who understood when we couldn't do fun things because of cost. We still can't, actually, because now it's time to save for a house. Bigger and better things await!
It's a big day. Hard to fully comprehend. My school is paid for and when I start school again this summer, we can pay in cash! God is good!
Then, while entering some financial information into our monthly budget sheet, I had a HUGE realization. Today was the day we would become debt free.
I believe we began addressing the debt issue on a strategic basis in January of this year. That would mean that in 10 months we were able to knock out debt equal to one of our yearly salaries. This exceeds my imaginative powers.
We could not have done it alone. My sister coached us along, provided a fully-formulated worksheet into which we could plug our own financial state and see how to budget appropriately. My brother and his wife provided the reading material that would change our lives: Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I know Ramsey seems like a fad, but let me tell you that his plan is hard. It's painful. It's not fun, and yet it is 100% logical and in some ways fool-proof. If you follow what he says, you will find that the weight of your debt lifts quickly.
I also believe that when you are faithful to God with your resources, He will bless that. Thus, we had a great deal of one-time extra money come in this year, thousands of dollars, that also made this possible.
I'm in awe of this process, of how quickly (though at times it seemed long and impossible) we could create this budget, follow the guidelines, even managing a small vacation and some fun weekends with friends, and come out on top in less than a year. Praise the Lord!
To anyone who is discouraged about debt or money issues...I do highly recommend giving Dave Ramsey's solution a try. Even if you despise him, try it and see. You can even modify it to fit your lifestyle, to an extent. We didn't do the cash system because we don't have a bank nearby. We use a credit card, but we pay off every thing as soon as it shows up. We use a debit card. But we do keep track of everything we spend and we've spent less than we would have had we not wanted so badly to get out of debt.
Thanks to our parents and grandparents for the help they provided, and the examples of living responsibly and within one's means. Thanks to our friends and siblings who understood when we couldn't do fun things because of cost. We still can't, actually, because now it's time to save for a house. Bigger and better things await!
It's a big day. Hard to fully comprehend. My school is paid for and when I start school again this summer, we can pay in cash! God is good!
12 October 2009
Disappointment and Confusion
People amaze me. Not in the "wow, that's incredibly awesome" way, but more "why would you do that" sort of way.
I've just been through a particularly difficult week because of one seemingly small situation. I keep playing scenarios over in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong or if I did what I've been accused of doing. My conclusion is that I did nothing wrong and yet, why do I still feel defeated?
I'm so lucky to have Kyle around. I think I may have lost my sanity last week had it not been for him. Lord knows I desperately needed support.
Even though I fully believe that sometime later in life this particular situation will prove to have been a useful learning experience for me, that cannot change the fact that I'm shocked at the lengths people will go to to prove themselves correct, to "win". Every year I am more aware that keeping score in life is counterproductive. Nobody wins when we keep track. Everybody loses.
Last week, everybody lost. And it doesn't feel good.
I've just been through a particularly difficult week because of one seemingly small situation. I keep playing scenarios over in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong or if I did what I've been accused of doing. My conclusion is that I did nothing wrong and yet, why do I still feel defeated?
I'm so lucky to have Kyle around. I think I may have lost my sanity last week had it not been for him. Lord knows I desperately needed support.
Even though I fully believe that sometime later in life this particular situation will prove to have been a useful learning experience for me, that cannot change the fact that I'm shocked at the lengths people will go to to prove themselves correct, to "win". Every year I am more aware that keeping score in life is counterproductive. Nobody wins when we keep track. Everybody loses.
Last week, everybody lost. And it doesn't feel good.
16 September 2009
Birthday fun
My birthday was awesome this year. Despite my attempts to help out my family in coming up with great present ideas, they all found better ideas and thus I received an amazing array of gifts.
- silk sleeping bag: so I can stay at my in-laws' and in hotels, and even at my parents', without bringing my own sheets because of a weird skin reaction to scented detergent.
- a smoothie maker / blender (see picture below)
- several movies: Becoming Jane, Hitch, Patch Adams, and Pride & Prejudice
- a fabulous shirt combo
- a coffee scoop (and I am MOST excited about this)
- a tennis skirt
- $, which enabled me to get a new pair of jeans
Let's also not forget the brand new tennis racquet and wrist support that I received as a very early gift in July. We've had so much fun this summer using our new racquets!As is standard in our family, I had a scrumtrulescent birthday meal courtesy of Mom. It included manicotti with meat sauce, green leaf salad, garlic bread, and peaches doused in cinnamon. Oh my was it all delish. For my cake, I requested a Dairy Queen one, because who doesn't love two flavors of ice cream accompanied by layers chocolate fudge and crunchies and topped by the lightest icing ever. It was phenomenal.
All of us failed to get adequate pictures, as has been the trend of the Wilson household this year. But here are the three that we managed to grab to commemorate the day.
I did it...finally.
Well, first, I turned 27. Which was a surprise to one of my coworkers who, bless her heart, said, "Oh, I thought at MOST you were 25." I appreciate that coming from her age of 23! But then suddenly I remembered how old 27 sounded when I was 23. Four years is a long time in that stage of life.
In more exciting news. Today, I submitted my application to grad school.
Wait, you say, don't you already have a master's degree.
Why, yes. Yes, I do. But I've always wanted this particular master's, or, I should say, to continue this particular interest of mine academically. And now I'm almost sure I can!
This will also be a boost to me professionally. It is typical (and oft required) that academic librarians have a master's in a second and unrelated field to Library Science. If you want details, I can explain it to you. It's too long and complicated for a post.
The plan is to start next summer, which for the school at which I applied means May (in 8 months). Each semester (and each of the two summer sessions), I will take one course. This is a stipulation from my job. I can't really do my work to the best of my ability if I'm trying to focus in three or four directions. Because this degree is encouraged, yay required, by my employer, they are providing me four hours per week from my standard 40 to get to my class. Which will be necessary, as the school is 1.5 hours away from where I live, work, and eat.
It's always exciting to launch into something you're passionate about, also a little scary to take the timid step of faith believing that this is the right course of action. For me, for my career, for us, for our family, etc. I've lately been struggling with the question, Can I even cut it anymore in an academic classroom setting? It's only been three years, but can School Lana be compatible with Married Lana. Ah, that is the question. How to juggle and balance all that my life is now that it was not when I completed undergrad and rocketed through SLIS.
It's also a whole other story to plan to spend three years of your life slugging through a degree that should take 1/2 that time. But this is what's laid before me, and I'm gladly accepting the challenge.
Strange as it sounds, I think classroom challenges are the only type of challenge that I feel equipped and capable of handling.
Guess I'll find out!
In more exciting news. Today, I submitted my application to grad school.
Wait, you say, don't you already have a master's degree.
Why, yes. Yes, I do. But I've always wanted this particular master's, or, I should say, to continue this particular interest of mine academically. And now I'm almost sure I can!
This will also be a boost to me professionally. It is typical (and oft required) that academic librarians have a master's in a second and unrelated field to Library Science. If you want details, I can explain it to you. It's too long and complicated for a post.
The plan is to start next summer, which for the school at which I applied means May (in 8 months). Each semester (and each of the two summer sessions), I will take one course. This is a stipulation from my job. I can't really do my work to the best of my ability if I'm trying to focus in three or four directions. Because this degree is encouraged, yay required, by my employer, they are providing me four hours per week from my standard 40 to get to my class. Which will be necessary, as the school is 1.5 hours away from where I live, work, and eat.
It's always exciting to launch into something you're passionate about, also a little scary to take the timid step of faith believing that this is the right course of action. For me, for my career, for us, for our family, etc. I've lately been struggling with the question, Can I even cut it anymore in an academic classroom setting? It's only been three years, but can School Lana be compatible with Married Lana. Ah, that is the question. How to juggle and balance all that my life is now that it was not when I completed undergrad and rocketed through SLIS.
It's also a whole other story to plan to spend three years of your life slugging through a degree that should take 1/2 that time. But this is what's laid before me, and I'm gladly accepting the challenge.
Strange as it sounds, I think classroom challenges are the only type of challenge that I feel equipped and capable of handling.
Guess I'll find out!
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