Cauliflower Ear

Do you ever talk on the phone so long, with the receiver pressed to your ear so hard, that you come away from a conversation aching in the ear?

I don't know if it's because I am hard of hearing, or if it has something to do with my OCD and wish to hear and capture every piece of a conversation, but I almost always press the phone to my head so forcefully during a conversation, that my ear is sweaty and bruised when I'm done.

You'd think I'd learn, but I don't. It's no wonder I have CPS (carpal tunnel syndrome). Everything I do with my hands is overkill - writing in tiny, very precise letters all the while clutching the pen or pencil as if someone is actively trying to pry it away from my fingers; controlling every motion of my fingers with concentrated precision when playing the piano; gripping the steering wheel as if lightening my touch would instantly induce a fatal crash.

I should lighten up, friends. I know. I've been told this every year of my life, even though I have made great efforts to do so in the past three years.

Next time you're on the phone, hold the receiver a few centimeters from your poor ear to give it some breathing room and to spare it from a death by cauliflower ear.