5 days

I shed my first tear today in terms of life-change emotional goodness.

Sara W., my dear, you're words were beautiful.


I'm doing well, and even got quite a bit of actual work done today (for my job, you know).

But, as I told Cara, what I really want is to be home making space for my husband. I want to be home, throwing out my junk, and putting wedding and shower gifts in places that make sense, instead of on all the furniture in the living room. I want to clean off the guest bed, to have places for all of Kyle's things, his books, his movies, his CDs, his clothes, his plethora of coats. I want him to feel at home when we return from our Costa Rican adventure next week, but I'm afraid he'll just go crazy with the chaos that is our home right now.

I hope he knows how much I wish I had energy and time to make space for him. But I just don't. I can't do it.
Sorry, honey.


Not apprehensive. Not sick. Not totally exhausted (though, perhaps, close). Not anxious. Not nervous. Not experiencing cold feet.

Just excited to see my family all together after so long, excited to be adding to my family numbers in several ways, excited to finally get to be with the man I love all the time.

Only five days stand between me and the realization of so many dreams I've had, so many things I've always wanted and never even known. Five days, friends. That is not very long.