On any typical day, I'm pretty with it. I generally have a calendar in my brain filled in with all the day's, week's, and often month's events and appointments. I make lists, it's true, but mostly because I just like making lists, not entirely because I must have them.
In the last few weeks, I've noticed my brain power slipping. I knew the stress of finishing a short semester and beginning a new semester, combined with several new projects and a few presentations that must be finished prior to our Aug. 30th student start date, was getting to me. And then I got sick. Really sick, like laying on the couch whenever I wasn't at work sick. Not able to work out or sit up (sometimes) or do adequate research for my term paper. But I did not know just how much my cognitive ability was affected until this week.
Wednesday morning, I was finishing up washing my hair, spreading some conditioner on it, when a realization hit me. For weeks, I'd had this little inkling that something was amiss with my brand new conditioner, the one I'd gone out one evening for the sole reason of picking up. It didn't feel right on my hair or in my hands as I got ready to apply it. In truth, it hadn't felt right for weeks, I realized, but I hadn't had the energy to think about why.
And the why, folks, is pretty important and indicative of the sad spectacle of my life right now.
It's shampoo.
That's what the bottle says. The bottle that I picked up in the store and examined very closely because I was so tired when I bought it. I remember doing that. I remember saying -- whew, good thing I double-checked that container. I know right now I could have picked up the wrong thing. But I did anyway because my mind isn't processing at an adequate speed.
Upon retrospect, it became clear that I've been double shampooing and leaving conditioner off of my hair every other day for almost three weeks. No wonder it's been feeling so strange and has been really hard to comb through.
Because it was so embarrassing, I had to tell someone. Ashley laughed at me, as did Kyle. Seriously, you thought it was conditioner? Yeah, they aren't even close to the same consistency.
Because I didn't feel nauseated today, not even once, I feel like I'm at a turning point in my mental health. I'm hoping, anyway. Because I have a ton of work to accomplish before the end of the month. Wish me luck!
3 comments:
People often ask me why I shave my head. Now, thanks to you, I can finally admit the reason: I couldn't keep the shampoo and conditioner straight. There, my secret is out. With my brain power steadily sliding away, it's just easier not to have hair. Thanks for paving the way for me to admit this. I feel so free. :)
Hang in there. ;) And, um, don't shave your head.
Hey, you willingly interacted with me after I had pulled my first all-nighter since college and then made it through a day at work. You translated my texting gibberish and knew what it meant and didn't run away when I laughed hysterically at your edits to my paper. Sleep deprivation happens.
Another sign: this weekend I put a pot of eggs on the stove with the intention of hard boiling them. I promptly left the kitchen and proceeded to be sucked in by the Internet for an hour. At which point, Kyle walked into the kitchen and smelled something "hot" -- noticing the pot o' eggs, he said, "Oh, you're doing that." At which point I remembered how long and looked into a pan with zero ounces of water and 5 scorched egg shells that were nearly burnt through. The pan was ruined beyond repair. As were the eggs. Yikes.
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