Whoever knew that graduation would ever not be a big deal. I graduated from college - four years of higher education. My friends and I were all sitting in a row together, well, I like most of the English majors and there we were, altogether. I walked up with them. I received a diploma and a towel. I bought a beautiful skirt/shirt combo and high-heeled shoes for the occassion. We wore robes of synthetic fibers, baking in the sun.
Even though I couldn't sleep last night - the inner anticipation of the "big day" - even though I cleaned 45% of the apartment by myself - despite all of this, The Big Day was a few hours in an uncomfortable chair, a photo-op with my parents, brother and grandparents afterward, three significant hugs with friends that I love dearly and may never see again, and a jungle of black robes and sun-burned faces separating me from most of the people I have come to identify with in the last year.
I drove around campus one last time, just so I could soak it all up - everything I love and hate about Taylor. It wasn't until that point that I felt any sadness. As I passed the dorms, I saw the faces of my friends on the strangers who were transporting their lives to the back of their pickups.
Despite my negativity towards Taylor, there are a great number of people who have forever impacted me. I wish I could give them all space here to thank them. Professors, employers, friends.
I cannot believe I never have to return to Fairlane Apartment 2 J. I cannot believe I never have to sit through another lecture in a circle in Reade Center. I cannot believe I'm free from the tortures of the DC and the Grille. I cannot believe I will never again live with my friends, within two miles of all of them. I cannot believe I didn't even get to say goodbye to two-thirds of them.
Were these the best days? Are they over?
Did I miss out? Did I mess up? Did I forget to mention how important you are to me?
3 comments:
Lana. This done with school thing is really weird.
Dear Lana,
I googled my name and ran across your blog. What a coincidence. Congratulations on graduating from college. I am an actor in L.A. I do mostly theatre. Another connection (besides our name) is that my sister-in-law is also a librarian. I found it eye-opening that one needs a Master's degree to be a librarian. I never knew how much went into it. Anyway, I also felt graduating from college was rather anti-climactic. But there you are.
Sincerely,
Lana Joy in L.A.
Lana Joy,
I was very confused at first, I thought I had written myself a comment and I didn't remember doing it. I like that we have the same name...it's so unusual. I hope you're having fun in L.A. and thanks for sending along a note.
Lana
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