I am amazed, at times, how easily I can convince myself of certain needs. More clothes, new shoes, kitchen gadgets, more books, movies, cds, etc. These needs aren't always materialistic, it turns out. I have recently convinced myself that I need to find another friend - someone new, I guess - not to replace anyone or to substitute for friends I can't see everyday (or every year), but to bring more diversity into my life. And also, to be my workout partner.

I'm usually a loner, have been pretty much all my life. Yet, this whole living-by-one's self deal has thrown me off kilter. Sometimes I simply wish for another person sitting somewhere in my house - the knowledge of the presence of another human is all I want. At the very least, it'd be nice to have someone as equally unattached to anything or anyone else as myself. Someone nearby who's always ready for a last minute movie fix or spontaneous road trip. I feel that every single person needs another single person if for nothing more than affirmation.

Perhaps this is simply self-pity. But I'd like to think it is more about choosing to be honest with myself. I can't be a loner anymore. While it has proved a fairly safe existence, it has also been very lonely and completely unfulfilling. I'm looking for more. I know it's out there somewhere. Maybe a new friend could help me find it, either pointing me to new places or discovering them with me.