I think I've been asleep for the last 2 months, dreaming all that transpired. Today, I feel as if I have wakened from that dream (was it a nightmare?).
My first summer session began on May 14th, before which I was scrambling to finish a rough draft of my thesis. The course -- Foucauldian Thought in Transatlantic 19th-century Literature -- was the hardest and most brain-busting one to date. It nearly destroyed me. But, alas, I did finish the classroom experience last Wednesday and the final paper on Friday, and then I turned off my brain and sat still for a while. I watched countless episodes of TV shows on Netflix, took a nap, cuddled with my kitten, and reorganized my recipes in the Cloud. I scoured three cookbooks, scanning numerous recipes and ultimately deciding one of them needs to be purchased for my gluten-free cookbook library.
Kyle and I have managed to continue living in the last 7 weeks during this course, but it has been exhausting. He took off two of the most recent weekends to give me space and time and quiet to write papers. I had forgotten how grueling driving to class two nights a week can be. But thankfully, that part of my journey is almost over. I won't ever have to drive twice a week again, and I'm not certain how often I'll need to drive in the Fall. The professor who's leading my independent study will have to help me determine that. I'm hoping no more than once every other week. Oh, that it will be so!
This summer, more than last, I realize how much I miss "time off." Since I'm technically a 10-month employee, I should have my June-July-part of Aug away from work. It never ends up that way, or it hasn't much since I began working here 5 years ago. The first summer, I worked through the summer for extra pay. It was fine--I was living alone, paying off student loans, and didn't mind in the least. That second summer, I got engaged and spent most of the time between Arizona and South Carolina and my parents' home getting ready for the wedding. I think I worked through the third summer, again for extra pay, which helped immensely in our first year of marriage. But the last 3 summers have been SCHOOL. And that is NOT a break and it is not fun and I'm super ready for a summer of no school and no work. I dream about vacations, trips, even just spending time with our families, whom I have hardly seen this year.
This month brings a little bit of freedom with it, however, which is much appreciated. My course at UIndy was cancelled at the last minute, and I scrambled to arrange an independent study. Turns out, I scored one here in town that will transfer quite easily upon my finishing it in August. No more night classes! No more 3-hour classes! And I'm studying a 19th-c. Scottish children's author: George MacDonald. He writes fantasy children's novels and stories and poems, but he was also a pastor and author for adults. You may be familiar with At the Back of the North Wind or The Princess and the Goblin. I'm really excited for this change of pace.
I do still need to work on my thesis revisions, which will be intense. Today I looked over my adviser's comments on each chapter and I sank into a mini-depression. It's unreasonable, I know, because my first drafts are always bad. I find joy in the revision process; or I used to. I just need to focus on smaller chunks of the whole, because that picture of 75 pages that aren't worth much is pretty scary. Pray for me, if you think about it. I have a LOT of work ahead of me. But I have more time in which to do it, so that is my greatest summer blessing!
