If only she knew me

I had a new experience today. Full body massage.

I was nervous because it's a weird concept for someone who comes from a family who doesn't touch.

But the massage therapist was a woman in her 50's who wore a paisley-corduroy jumper and her hair in a bun. I wasn't scared after meeting her.

And the massage was lovely.

The best moment was approximately three minutes from the end of the most beautiful forty-five minutes of this semester.

Says the therapist to me, "I sense that you have some residual tension in your body. Try to relax and float in the experience."

Although I merely said, "oh, okay." I was laughing inside. Residual, huh? Who'd have thought.

This is what's going through my mind right now...as I try to work

R-O-W-D-I-E

That's the way we spell Rowdy.

U-G-L-Y

You ain't got no alibi, you're ulgy...you're ugly - Wooo!

Native Americans!


Will Ferrell, get out of my head.

Newest concoction

I'm not much of a cook, but I do enjoy it. I can't say I have talent or anything because I simply haven't devoted the time and energy needed to develop the skill.

However, since I'm a student and always eating the same things, I get bored. So I've begun to throw things together in a way to liven my brief meals up.

Here's the newest one (I'm not giving serving specifications or measurements because I cook for one and few people that I know do this. Adjust for your serving needs.):

refried beans - the best kind has lime juice in it; I can't remember the brand
cooked spinach
salsa - of your favorite variety, it's a new addition to my eating habits; I used to hate it.
cheese - I prefer sharp cheddar

I love this. I could eat it every day, in fact I have eaten it every day this week.

Please, please, please check this out

Everyone who visits my site must look at the GOFR this week.

Family pictures of my favorite people and my sister Leslie walking a tightrope wire across a raging river.

How can you pass this up?

A day of firsts

Yesterday was Maddie's first day of Preschool.

She'll officially be in school for at least the next 20 years of her life. That's a lot.

And she loves it, of course; other kids to play with, learning to share and stay quiet and listen. It's going to be so good for her.

But when I asked her how it was today, she said, "Good." And that was it. Apparently she doesn't want to talk about it yet.

So we have a picture of Maddie on her first day of school, and then a picture of Katie, because she's so beautiful. Enjoy!

Liz visited this weekend, which was fabulous, and we discovered a connection between two prominent figures in our lives - one that, surprisingly, none of us (speaking of friends from college also exposed to these two people) ever put together.

And it was amazing.

Will Ferrell and a certain other man of great stature with whom we've spent a great deal of time with during our college years have the same body build and actually look alike (at least Will Ferrell in a few of his roles on SNL: The Best of...).

What a novel idea! And how hilarious.

10 days left

If I were still at Taylor U., this week would be J-term finals. I always hated having finals during J-term because it always seemed like a cheap shot. How could we possibly absorb enough information in 3 weeks to regurgitate it concisely on an exam? There was a particular English professor who was notorious for his impossible exams - I had him twice for J-term, and those finals were mind-boggling-ly difficult, if you will.

As is, I'm not at TU, and I barely feel like I've started a new semester. I haven't gotten into the swing of balancing reading for class, exercising, working, and watching Lost and Gilmore Girls with any success. I feel like I'm floundering.

Hopefully this will change in the next few weeks as real papers and projects are due with increasing frequency.

For now, I'm subsisting on Hersey's Dark chocolate kisses. Heaven in my mouth. The both unfortunate and really great thing for me regarding these pieces of brilliance is that none of my friends here or my roommates like dark chocolate. I'm forced to eat them all myself!

Winter blues, literally

I find it fundamentally disturbing when my hands are so frigid in my own "heated" house (heated here is a relative term), that I can't move my fingers.

Before they get to the dead person, absolutely no-blood, no-color-hand stage, they turn blue.

Not a healthy blue, either.

It's bad when you try not to use the restroom so you don't have to wipe, because your hands are too cold. Or you don't change clothes for bed because you don't want to risk touching any part of your skin with these blocks of ice.

Oh, Raynauds syndrome...why do you haunt me?

Worse than pond scum

This week's sign that marketing isn't what it used to be and that people will do anything to get your attention (positive or negative attention at that!):

Mucinex commercial involving the personification of mucus. That's right. MUCUS.

Not just personification (like that of the toe fungus commercials, they were greenish-yellow and pudgy), but personification of newly-wed mucus.

Kate mentioned how sad it was that anyone would come up with this idea. Bird added that perhaps it was worse that someone said, "Yes. I love it. Go for it...newly-wed mucus." It sounds like a Will Ferrell skit.

My anecdotes are getting less and less interesting

I want to apologize for my negligence in posting.

Not to deter you from visiting my site, but probably once a week would work out for you until late April, when the semester is over. I've been overwhelmed in the past few days with the requirements and expectations for my classes and each of their multiple time-consuming projects.

But this is something I've been working on (yes, Jami, I'm copying you. I'm sure you'll forgive me.)

It's a table which I was instructed to create in code by hand. People, this is not something I'm good at, hand-coding, and I'm not sure how I feel about being asked to do something for which I have no prior knowledge, especially when I know that it can be done in an easier way, and you're just hiding that from me. Mean teacher.

On a positive note, one major project has been postponed until the summer sessions - I'm breathing easier already! Thanks, Jami!

Quote of the night

On Lost last night.

Charlie to Echo (the most gorgeous man):

"What are you going to do, beat me with your Jesus stick?"

I love it.

Funny how that works...

Because there isn't a whole lot to do at work, I'm attempting to memorize the Library of Congress Classification system. Not the numbers part, just the immediate breakdown of the letters. I decided that I'll try two letters a week - for instance, this week is A and B.

A - Collections. General Works

Then it breaks down into...

AC - Collections. Series.
AE - Encyclopedias
AG - Dictionaries and other general reference works
AI - Indexes
and so on

B - Philosophy. Psychology. Religion

Under this section, we find an interesting breakdown of something as complex as Religion

BL - Religions. Mythology. Rationalism
BM - Judaism
BP - Islam. Bahaism. Theosophy
BQ - Buddhism
BR - Christianity
BS - The Bible

Does anyone else find that hysterical, yet a bit sad at the same time?

At least we know exactly how the founders of the LC system felt about the Bible.

And what about any other religions that might be in the world...there is no place for them.

Quote from a pleasant conversation with Emily

"My living room looks like Father Christmas sneezed all over it."

Said as she juggled the phone while de-Christmas-ing her home by herself.

Truth hurts

It's true, what they say, that hearing the truth hurts.

Sometimes, it's better coming from loved ones. Sometimes, it's just more painful that way.

Today I heard a painful one, that is so true, I already knew it. Hearing it reaffirmed my personal knowledge, and confirmed that others see it, too.

"Oh, Lana. You are so weak."

Eye Report

As much as I love going to the dentist for teeth cleanings, one would think I'd love going to the eye doctor, too. And knowing that I love getting new contact lenses, that adds to the assumption.

Truth is, nothing is more torturous than that green light machine that Dr. T. whips out for the annual visit. It goes deep into you eye and who knows what else it does. Feels like it's damaging tissues and ruining my already worthless eyes.

I'm actually tearing up with the thought of the anguish I went through two days ago at his office. I told him it felt like torture, as we went back for round two (first time without contacts, second time with them). He laughed.

Good news came with this visit, though. Because my eyes have finally stabilized for only the second time in sixteen years - no prescription changes in a year. This brings me much closer to the surgery I've always wanted. And now, because I've had to wait so long, there are two kinds to choose from - regular lasik surgery or lens implants, much like what they do for cataracts, if you're familiar with that.

The bad news came when he told me I'd have to stop wearing contacts for 6-8 weeks before the surgery. When can I do that? For those of you who've seen my lovely glasses, you'll understand how nearly impossible it is for me to fathom going to classes and working on the computer and, well, being in public in my glasses.

I have a -12 in one eye, and a -11 in the other. That's about equivalent to 20/1600 vision. Anyone heard of that before? I was under the impression that 20/200 is legally blind. I googled it and found that to be true. Great!

Here's my confession for the day:
I have very little depth perception at night.

Why do I still drive?

Is it just me...

or do other people have freakishly severe mood swings that have nothing to do with PMS.

I feel like I'm in middle school or high school, when I hated myself and everything about the world.

Two minutes later, I love everyone and I'm so glad to be where I am.

Fifteen seconds later, I just want to cry.

What is going on? Seasonal Affective Disorder (SADD)? This is what one doctor has to say about it.

Only one more winter to go, about five months total - January through March and then November through December. I think I can make it.

Maddie and Katie are cute...

but who knew they could be this cute.

I cannot wait until I live in Arizona near them. More than anything or anyone else, these girls bring joy into my life. No wonder I want to get out of this grey, depressing state to a land of eternal sunshine and these cutie patooties!

I can't wait until March when my sisters and I have the annual Sisters' Weekend at my place.

Unusual, to be sure

It's almost claustrophobic being back here - at home with the 'rents.

What bothers me the most about visiting here are the following:
* Having to explain myself - who I'm going to see, when, for how long, and what we'll be doing.
* Feeling guilty - for not spending enough time with them, or for lashing out in cabin feverish anger, or not telling the truth about item #1.
* Scheduling showers, laundry, TV time and dinners according to their preferences.

Yes, these are all very selfish reasons - please understand that I know this.

There are always good things, too, some of which also directly relate to the above. Such as...
* Mom's food. Nothing better - as attested to by my quick gain of weight since coming home.
* Watching movies with people, not just by myself.
* Someone else working my laundry into their loads.

But the claustrophobia peaked this morning around 5 am when I came upstairs, sending a friend off and heading to bed, as my mother was coming downstairs from her night of slumber. I was embarrassed, felt horrible, and then realized that if I was at home (in my home), no one would care and it would be fine.

After said friend left, my mom came from around the corner, where she'd been hiding (thankfully, I'd heard her zipping her navy velour robe), and said, "Well, this is unusual!"

I had no response. So I went to bed and got only 3 hours of sleep.

Final hours

As our final days o' fun are winding down, I'm not sure what to do with myself.

I have an Ireland scrapbook - two years in limbo - finally started - okay, so I've got the first page done. The first five pictures out of hundreds slapped on a page with cool paper and markers and stickers.

I have one book down and three to go with only five days left of my vacation - only a couple more here in R-town.

The books and the scrapbook have no hope of getting done. I just can't do it.

The truth is, I have been having too much fun.

It's true. Write it down in the record books. I've been having fun with my family. (I feel like this is a confession of sorts.)

But I've reached my limit. I've gained six pounds in three weeks (oh, the decadent food we've eaten!) and I've played Cranium about seven or eight times, along with many, many other games.

We've even had a couple cousins nights gaming. Super duper fun.

Now I need to retreat into a hole, eating only lettuce and fruit, and come out in a few months. Well, a hole with a treadmill or mile-long track.

I need to start running again - thanks to my new Brooks kicks (best running shoes in the world) - and I can't wait to see my dear roommates. It's been too long.

By the way, did anyone catch that American Idol starts up again on Jan. 17th, as does Gilmore Girls and LOST. Boy, am I excited for this semester!