What a Christmas Break is Made of

I thought I'd share a little of what I've been doing to keep myself busy during my break from school and work.

First of all, it's been glorious to sleep in. As one who never sleeps through the night, having a few extra hours to catch up on the time I've lain awake in the wee hours is blissful.

There were some household items that simply had to be checked off the To-Do list:

• laundr-o-mat all of our large blankets

We have an inordinate number of blankets. The problem is, I love them all, and I cannot get rid of any of them. Even the hand-me-downs. Quincy, also, loves all of our blankets and part of the laundry mat piece is to keep all of that cat hair out of our washer and dryer (gross, I know, but what can be done? He's hairy. Super hairy). 

• sewing projects

These always get left in a corner until there's some free time. This week was it. Makes me happy to have the skills to fix my own repair projects. Thanks, Mom!

• filing of important papers and receipts

We had months' worth piled in a corner (we have lots of corners piled with stuff). It's all now nicely filed away in the closet. 

• create music playlist for a friend

I haven't done this in years, it was very therapeutic. So good, I think I might keep the list around and listen to it myself. 

• massage

Ok, so this was a personal pampering, but it was lovely and needed after all the stressfulness of the last deadlines. 

• clean the kitchen, no really CLEAN the kitchen
• dust the house (sad that it makes the list as something different, but alas, it hadn't been done in quite a while)
• watch BBC's Emma mini-series
• upload recipes to shared folder (not yet finished, but a good start)

This is a project that I've been wanting to accomplish for quite a while. I have shared a recipe folder online with my mom and sisters and I'm trying to get my entire recipe box into an online format, with the hopes of one day using some sort of tablet device to read recipes (and search for them) rather than flipping through index cards. 

• read At the Back of the North Wind by George MacDonald

This one isn't finished yet either, but it will be done by the end of my break. I had wanted to read this for 2 main reasons: 1) because it is a children's book about death (subject of my thesis, not because I'm just that morbid; 2) because everyone loves George MacDonald and I really know so very little about him, except one brilliant short story I read last year, which got me thinking more about him.

The unexciting parts have included doing dishes regularly, laundry, reading my Bible every day, and going to the gym every day (which hadn't been done in months). All of these things have given me a great sense of accomplishment and it's sort of a thrill every day to see what I can get done. Having a list with every item checked off is super exciting for me. That's just who I am!

Sucker for Bargains

My cousin Stephanie and sister Leslie have always made me jealous with their ability to score awesome finds at Goodwill and other thrift stores. I have never been so lucky. A couple of years ago, when I went with Les to Goodwill, the two great items I bought she had actually found and tossed my way: a red zip-up hoodie with tiny giraffe silhouettes in yellow and black and a navy-striped summer-weight shirt with a bow.

I've tried thrift shopping at other times and I've never had a satisfactory experience on my own or with others.

Today, Les invited me along for another bargain-hunting day. I can proudly say that while she did find the two graphic t-shirts I got Kyle (and they are awesome, by the way), I was able to find 2 pairs of dress pants (one of which still had store tags on it) and a skinny belt.

Because today was a red-tag half-off day, I also paid just under $12 for all of my purchases. It was almost intoxicating.

Our next stop was Rural King. This place is a mystery to me. I cannot account for the variety of things sold here from food, to farm equipment and feed, to clothes, to kitchen gadgetry, to candy, to spices, to toys. Every time I enter (this was only my 2nd time), I find myself exclaiming: "They sell that here!?"

Today, I was able to find giant bins full of ladies dress socks on sale for 2 for $1.50. I bought 6 pairs for under $5. How is that possible?! Normally they each cost at least $5. Again, my mind was blown.

I need to remember that Leslie is my lucky bargain-hunting charm. Whenever she suggests an outing, I must be ready for something awesome to happen!

The Feeling of Completion

Last night at 5:55pm, I turned in my paper. It was a big paper, yes, but that wasn't the sum of the relief I felt. No, it was the burden of this entire semester of intense work. I've spent an average of 8 hours every weekend on schoolwork since October. And that's not including the work I did during the week or the 3 hours a driving a week or sitting in class. I don't know if I've ever been this tired. But let me tell you, I slept last night. Deep and long. Past after my normal internal clock wake-up call of 7am. 


It hasn't actually hit me yet, to tell the truth. I'm still in the stage of looking forward to having time for other people, baking goodies, watching movies, reading books for pleasure, and spending time with Kyle. Today was a very busy day--Wednesdays are always long. But I was able to see a good friend who I've hardly spoken to this semester, to hold her 3 month old baby and hang out with her older two boys. I have had multiple conversations today that were so good yet have left me with a mind full of chaotic thoughts.


My break begins this weekend with a time of food and movies with a fellow grad student, the celebration of a college friend's wedding, and the completion of my Christmas shopping -- the last 2 items! I hope to be able to wrap all the presents we have sitting around by Sunday, but I'm not sure it can be done. It delights me that these are the dilemmas facing me: when can I bake those cookies I've been wanting to try? When can we wrap our nieces' and nephews' presents? When can we sit down and watch my favorite Christmas movie? What Christmas songs do I want on my playlist? 


I'm also excited about cleaning...which obviously shows that I have not done a good or even decent job of that this semester. When you desire to clean, you've probably not done it for...oh...3 or 4 months. Right now, this is exciting!


Anyway, this is my current state of mind and being. Thanks for bearing with me on this most trying to semesters. I have conquered it. 
That is a great feeling!

Remembering to be Thankful

While it's not every day that you are presented with a 10+ dish smorgasbord, yesterday brought such a lovely sight (and the accompanying smells) to my weary soul. And I realized that I am thankful for:

• Aunt Judy's homemade yeast rolls
• Aunt Janet's delicious fruit jello
• Mountains of mashed potatoes 
• Stuffing (which I had never eaten until 3 years ago)
• My new cheesecake pan and the pumpkin chocolate cheesecake that I made in it (a recipe Leslie found)
• Dutch apple pie (also homemade by Leslie and myself)
• and last, but not least, Sara Lee's Razzleberry pie. 

As we ate and talked and took Jasper for a walk, and ate dessert instead of supper, and took a sweet little nap in the sun, and actually got too warm, I found that I was grateful for:

• An incredible extended family
• Adorable (and fun) nieces and nephews
• Sweet pets who give so much love
• A few moments of sunshine on that windy, otherwise dreary day
• Less pain than I've had in over a year
• and homes where we can afford heat, where we actually get too hot because we have warm clothes and lots of people gathered to celebrate life and family 

It probably seems like I've been complaining on here for a long time, so I wanted to show you that I'm not always Debbie Downer. 

In fact, it's these kinds of things -- the sunset reflecting on the lake or even watching the wind ripple the lake's surface while eating breakfast in the kitchen -- all of the things listed above, they are what keep me going. 

One whole day to cook, taste-test, set tables, serve food, clean up, nap and watch a movie...no work. None of that was work. It was wonderful. 

Thank you, Lord, for family, for my parents' home that never fails to remind me how refreshing peace and rest can be, for great cooks in the family and incredible amounts of food. Thank you that even when I miss out on some things (I missed all the Wilsons this weekend, including my husband), I still have blessings beyond measure, more than I ever deserved, or could ever count. 

So much more to the story

I don't know if I can do them justice, these novels that form the base of my thesis project. Even in the second, and third, readings, they bring me to tears. They are so sweet, so sad, so true of life and love. Not in a sappy way, though my crying does make the whole thing sound rather trite. 

They are more than they seem. 

And I'm a bit afraid that I won't be able to articulate what makes their beauty, what it is that they contribute to not just literature as a whole (which is true), but more specifically to young adult literature of today. 

They touch on something pure and true and...missing in a lot of stories. And they do it in the most beautiful way. 

I know it sounds silly, but please read them. 

As strange as it sounds: Keturah and Lord Death and The Book Thief. 

How can they be related? And doesn't one of them sound so ridiculous?

Read them, and tell me your reactions. You will not be the same, that I can promise. 

Life Lesson Learned #1034

Pepperoni Pizza Combos are not equivalent to a pepperoni pizza. In other words, they are not dinner.

Late Night Pondering

Sometimes, I just want more out of life.

But, it often seems that when I figure this out, I have nothing more to give in order to make that happen.

I'm so tired...okay, not just because it's 11pm. I would love some time to reassess what my life is, who I am, and where I'm going. I feel very much like I'm on autopilot, which is not something I relish. My self-reflections are limited and lame these days. Actually, the only thing I personally reflect upon are my health issues as I try to get that all sorted out before the end of the year and a new deductible.

Even though there is just a handful of weeks left of school...truthfully, sometimes I wonder if I'll make it to the end. It's not just the projects, the papers, the research, the brain-tired. It is so much more than that.

And I am so, so tired.

Celebrating the Good

It only took us 3 weeks, but we did end up celebrating our anniversary for an entire day! On a good week, too, my double-Fall break for both of my universities. No class on Tuesday, no work on Friday.
Pure loveliness.

I began to see a light at the end of this semester as I hit midterms: I'm feeling in a good place with my Scottish lit class, finally in the groove with assignments and I have the one presentation/extra research bit out of the way. On Wednesday, I turned in my working bibliography for my thesis project; 17 pages of double-spaced, citations and small blurbs about each one's usefulness to my project. Some were useful, many weren't. But it was an accomplishment. I've just now received my "next steps" for that massive project, but decided this weekend was definitely not the time to look into that.

I slept in two days in a row, getting an unprecedented 9 hours of sleep each night. Our anniversary celebration day was Friday and set to include a movie, shopping, and dinner out in Ft. Wayne. When we tried to make reservations in advance for Cork 'N Cleaver, we found our options to be either 5p or 9p. Quite a span of time, typically during which I get hungry and eat. But neither option sounded great. Since it's quite a drive, we opted to forgo the film (nothing that we really wanted to see anyway) and take the early dinner.

It was such a relaxing day. Our shopping experience was quite slow and easy, each of us getting somethings we needed and some that were simply fun. We got some ideas for Christmas, had some coffee, and tried to stall our hunger (we didn't eat lunch so we could eat dinner so early).

By 4:30p, our feet were dead (we are not good shoppers) and our blood sugar was so low we were both pretty much incapable of making any more decisions. Except about food, of course.

I've never been out to eat for a special event of my own, and so when our server asked why we were dining out, I answered "to celebrate our anniversary." Because of this declaration, we discovered, to our delight, that our dinner was finished with a complimentary mud pie -- a towering piece of coffee ice cream with fudge icing, a thin chocolate cookie base, and whipped cream everywhere. Though we were stuffed from our appetizer of mushroom caps and cheese and the entrees of a 16 oz. rib eye (you guess whose that was) and a Parmesan-encrusted tilapia filet, we ate our dessert heartily. We'd even just decided not to buy dessert, when she brought the dessert plate out, but how could you say no when it's free?

The whole day was fantastic; I never once thought about school work. And we arrived home early enough for me to get another 9 hours of blissful sleep.

After another fairly relaxed day today, we ended with dinner at a friends' and one round of Ticket to Ride.

I'm so grateful for the break. I needed it desperately, and think taking a week to sit back and breathe may have just bought me another 7 of intense work and studying.

To top it off, Quincy has been the most loving and cuddly little (or giant) cat for the past few days. It's enough to melt your heart (probably only if you like cats to begin with).

Bring it on, November. I see you hiding around the corner, and I'll take you on. I'm ready!

Last Minute Mary

I don't put things off. I'm a worker-aheader, a planny-McPlannerson, an extremely-prepared kind of person. But the first 2 weeks of Fall semester this year has proved me incapable of juggling all the things I have going on. There is so much pressure at work to get the new systems up and running, and there are a plethora of meetings that I really wish I didn't need/have to attend. On the other side, I have unbelievable pressure from classwork and the added bonus of planning/researching my thesis this semester. On top of that, I, personally, have had 2 routine Dr.'s appointments, and Kyle had eye surgery yesterday. He has one more check up that will require me to drive him and miss work, and then he should be home-free for seeing well again.

Over Labor Day weekend, I had 400 pages of a dry, slow-reading novel to digest, plus 50+ pages of criticism/background, plus two essay questions due by 7am Monday morning (which was my birthday). We had 2 family reunions with 50+ people that weekend. Too much. All around, it was all just too much for me.

I thought I'd be able to get my mind back into a routine following Labor Day, but that proved impossible, and now it's Saturday and I finally feel like I can sit down and breathe for the first time in two weeks.

Last night was a due date for my general plan for writing this gigantor paper, the culmination of my grad career. Library school taught me how to research with the best of them. This English program is teaching me how to be a literary critic. And my final "test" will be a massive paper, a book even, on some literary topic of my choice. I've struggled to come up with something interesting, and was about ready to fall back on my favorite topic of female character moral development in 19th c. British lit., when I read Steph's birthday gift to me from last year, The Book Thief. It changed my perspective and made me appreciate modern fiction again. 

By yesterday, I was to turn in to my adviser a chapter outline of what I want to write on for this massive undertaking. I didn't really know how in depth I should go for this "Prospectus," but with the minimal time I had available to think about it in the 1-week time frame I was given, I thought it might end up only phrases, not even sentences, in length. I stayed late at work, after missing half the day for Kyle's surgery, and when I got home we wolfed down some food and did the mountain of dishes that had piled up since Monday evening. Then, I locked myself in the back room and began ruminating on what I wanted to say about The Book Thief and how I could make those ideas into 20 page chapters while still sounding intelligent. 

I needed to Google ideas like "death as narrator," which produced results of mostly fantastical, not-the-right-kind of books. I needed to brainstorm on physical paper the 5 different directions I could go and choose the best one (or the most interesting one to me). I needed to revisit my Critical Approaches to Literature Handbook so that I could see what criticisms might help me illuminate this text and any other works I chose to examine. As you can see, I had many decisions to make. 

In a few hours' time, I think I got it. But I'm going to wait to hear back from my adviser before giving any specifics, in case she doesn't like it and I must change directions. 

It turned out just like I thought it would...I needed two minutes to rub together (or 180 minutes, truthfully) so my brain could focus on just one thing. It felt good. 

Signs of Aging

On any typical day, I'm pretty with it. I generally have a calendar in my brain filled in with all the day's, week's, and often month's events and appointments. I make lists, it's true, but mostly because I just like making lists, not entirely because I must have them.

In the last few weeks, I've noticed my brain power slipping. I knew the stress of finishing a short semester and beginning a new semester, combined with several new projects and a few presentations that must be finished prior to our Aug. 30th student start date, was getting to me. And then I got sick. Really sick, like laying on the couch whenever I wasn't at work sick. Not able to work out or sit up (sometimes) or do adequate research for my term paper. But I did not know just how much my cognitive ability was affected until this week.

Wednesday morning, I was finishing up washing my hair, spreading some conditioner on it, when a realization hit me. For weeks, I'd had this little inkling that something was amiss with my brand new conditioner, the one I'd gone out one evening for the sole reason of picking up. It didn't feel right on my hair or in my hands as I got ready to apply it. In truth, it hadn't felt right for weeks, I realized, but I hadn't had the energy to think about why.

And the why, folks, is pretty important and indicative of the sad spectacle of my life right now.

It's shampoo.

That's what the bottle says. The bottle that I picked up in the store and examined very closely because I was so tired when I bought it. I remember doing that. I remember saying -- whew, good thing I double-checked that container. I know right now I could have picked up the wrong thing. But I did anyway because my mind isn't processing at an adequate speed.

Upon retrospect, it became clear that I've been double shampooing and leaving conditioner off of my hair every other day for almost three weeks. No wonder it's been feeling so strange and has been really hard to comb through.

Because it was so embarrassing, I had to tell someone. Ashley laughed at me, as did Kyle. Seriously, you thought it was conditioner? Yeah, they aren't even close to the same consistency.

Because I didn't feel nauseated today, not even once, I feel like I'm at a turning point in my mental health. I'm hoping, anyway. Because I have a ton of work to accomplish before the end of the month. Wish me luck!

Oh, the sounds

I've spent quite a bit of time in our computer room this month already hammering away at this Science Fiction class. It's been interesting, but I'm ready to say goodbye. The stress of summer classes is something I cannot wait to put behind me forever.

A few weeks ago, I realized there was a super annoying sound in the wall next to the chair where I sit to read in this room. Quincy actually heard it too, one day, and tried to alternately climb the bookshelves and dive under and behind them to get to the noise. Honestly, what it first sounded like to me was a series of tiny peckings or scratchings. At first it was just every now and then for a short period of time. Now, it's constant. I pulled Kyle in a few nights ago to listen to it and he said, "Definitely mice," which I had thought, too. The sound could definitely be claws.

He wrapped on the wall a few times and his mouth fell open as he concentrated on listening. "What?" I asked. "It might be bees." I was not expecting that answer, and I laughed. Bees? Really?

Kyle took to the Internet to find out and spent at least an hour on Wikipedia learning more about carpenter bees, mostly, but a plethora of other pests with wings, as well. He had something like 10 tabs open in the browser when I walked in (yeah, I'd left the room. Bees aren't that interesting to me.). Just like me, this man loves information. Sometimes I feel like we rarely love information about the same things, but when research is necessary to figure something out, Kyle's the man. He's got the Internet by the throat! Can find anything you need.

Anyway, after this discussion and my reluctance to believe it, I noticed a bee leaving the area beside our back window this morning. I went outside in the cool morning air and stood about 10 feet away, staring at the exact location of that sound. Located on the brick in that precise locale is our water meter, and while I stood there about a dozen bees flew in and out from behind that box. Gotcha!

Now, what to do? I suppose we tell the landlord and see if they care if bees are living in our walls. Ah, the life of a renter!

Monday's Accomplishment

As if Mondays aren't hard enough to face...today I had a monumental chore: Finish Red Mars.

My neck is so sore, as is my rear, from sitting and reading all day long.

Will this semester never END?

I know it will, but I have a paper to finish and one other small assignment that I don't care about. It'll get done.

Today, I had 275 pages to read in order to finish this book so that I could move on to research for the paper (that's the only "relief" I get these days). I started reading at 9a, took a break from 11 to 2p for some lunch, some cleaning, some exercising. I've been reading since 2...it's not 8 and I only have 40 more pages. My body screams to lie down, but I know I must go on.

I've taken to doing 10 jumping jacks when I get up for more water or to go to the bathroom. I don't always remember, but when I do, I feel better, blood flows to the outer extremities that have been in the same position for an hour. I also walk around the house, just to move, check my email, just to look at something different.

By the time I go to sleep, I will have finished Red Mars. It's a really good book. Recommended. Incredibly detailed, and I wouldn't recommend trying to read it in 2 1/2 days. It is 575 pages long and dense. The material is all science--every branch you can imagine--as well as psychology. The author had to have such a breadth of knowledge that I'm incredibly impressed. It's a complex novel that entwines human interactions and relationships with incredible scientific exploration in all kinds of fields (biology, ecology, geology, physics, astronomy...and more) with politics, religion, and economics. I can't grasp it all, to be honest, but it's a fascinating read (probably more so if I wasn't under this time crunch).

Last night I dreamed of Mars. So, obviously, it's very imaginative.

Okay, that was my 10 minute break. Actually, I think I need some food in order to concentrate on those last, surely significant, 40 pages.

I'll see you on the other side of this looming paper -- due next Wednesday at midnight.
Adios for now.

Quincy's new passion

You probably won't believe this, because even to me this sounds ridiculous. But...

Quincy Loves Shoes.

It's true, he does. And we have evidence.

The only sad part is that we're missing a picture from the innumerable times he climbs into our Chacos. He loves those sandals. Can't pass up a moment of sticking his paws through the straps if they are sitting off the side somewhere. I might go as far to say that he's obsessed. He's taken to treating them as "Home Base". Before he took to the shoes, Home Base was the kitchen rug. Anytime he got scolded (which is often), or needed comfort (think vacuuming), he would take refuge at Home Base. Even when playing, after skittering around the kitchen after his beloved plastic ring, he would pick it up in his mouth and carry it back to Home Base.

Little did we know that Home Base was about to become mobile. Wherever there is a shoe is now a Home Base. It's hysterical.


The thong of this sandal is actually between his toes.
He loves it.



A visitor's shoes. He doesn't discriminate.



His favorite of my friends: Ashley's sandals.
Obviously, he's super excited.





The double-footed Home Base.

 Another of Quincy's recent obsessions is the sink. Well, any sink. I caught him here in the kitchen sink, going fishing for something in the disposal.

His favorite, however, is the bathroom sink. Whenever we're getting ready for bed, he'll climb in and curl up (he takes up the ENTIRE sink) and prevent us from using it for our own purposes. Like a kid, trying to convince the parents to stay up or something. Kyle got a video of that on his phone, so I'll try to post that soon.

Don't know why the pic is sideways. Sorry.

The final thing I want to show is his new favorite playhouse. Now, we really haven't bought him much: a few grooming brushes is all besides food and litter. Kyle is always wanting to get Quincy something, but really, what could he need? I found a little house at Meijer that sported two openings (one on the side, one on the end), a dangling feathery toy, and a hammock on top. I kept my eye on it, but never got around to buying it because it was $20. Seemed excessive. Plus, Kyle was never with me to see if it was a good idea, so I waited. Eventually, it dropped in price to $12, and Kyle was at the store with me and jumped on the chance to buy Quincy something fun.

Well, of course he loves it. Although not sure about the hammock at first, after just two days he figured out he could lay in it and it's been a staple in his every day circuit of finding places to sleep in the living room.

Alas, Blogger picture loader has been total crap for a week, so I'm posting this without the final picture. Can't...take...it...any...more!

Summer 2011: Really? When's the break?

As you may have guessed, this summer has felt like anything but summer break. Maybe I try too hard in my classes, or maybe they really are super, incredibly demanding. I feel like ever since July began I've been struggling to keep up. We've had busier weekends in July than we did in June, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. But seriously, I need a real break before I go back to work...oh wait, that's a week from Monday. Great....


I'm sure I mentioned my hesitancy toward this new course: Science Fiction Lit of the 20th century. This genre is a complete unknown to me, and all I know is that I don't care for aliens in films, and I've never met one in literature I liked either (though I have been sure to not cross paths with many). As it turns out, the beginning of the course has been somewhat of a lightbulb: SF is not all about aliens. And, on the other hand, other-worldly creatures can be done well and made to be very interesting and engaging. Who knew!


We have a bajillion pages of reading each week, which makes me nervous and tired all at once every single Monday when I get the "Here's What We're Doing This Week" email. But I will say that our text called Masterpieces: The Best SF short stories... has provided an excellent introduction. We began with a few short stories that first week in July, and it enabled me to see that not all SF is dumb or kooky or ridiculous. It can actually look very closely in new ways at what it means to be human, the issues that humanity faces, and even so far as causing some personal reflections. Yeah, I wasn't really ready for that, but that's what I found!
We read a few critical articles about what makes something SF--so categorizing and compartmentalizing. In the end, however, we learned that there are two key elements of SF lit: 1) it will address change in some way; 2) it covers the idea/concept of "the Other" through examining how someone or thing is estranged (this part usually caused the reflection element). 


As of this week, we've read 3 novels:

• Asimov's I, Robot, which is actually a collection of short stories he later connected with some inter-chapter material. Though it didn't flow very well and some of the characters were really flat and the dialogue lame, his robots were super endearing. I wanted to know them. And it was a great launching point for the rest of the semester. I would recommend it to those who have never read any SF because the chapters are short (remember: short stories) and therefore pretty self-contained. You can take it in small chunks and think about why you should care at all, maybe discover why you do.
• Robert M. Miller, Jr.'s A Canticle for Leibowitz. I have a ton to say about this book. I just wrote a 12-page paper on it, but I'll try to limit my comments. Also written first as 3 very long short stories, it was just thrown together without any editing into a novel. And it works...very well. This novel taught me that SF doesn't have to be about robots or machines or technology at all in the way I was thinking about it. Here we have a post-apocalyptic world with the Catholic church still strong but cloistered away in monasteries and men in chaos, reverting back to the ways of our long-past ancestors: hunters-gatherers, warring tribes, barbarism. The book spans 1800 years and how men, after rediscovering knowledge, return to the same paths...nuclear war happens again. The characters are wonderful and most are deep. Many things about humanity, faith, doubt, religion, science, and responsibility are investigated from various angles. I want everyone I know to read this book. It made me think, made me reflect. 
• Ursula K. Le Guin's Left Hand of Darkness. I probably shouldn't say a whole lot on it, as I'm only 1/2 way through this novel (must be done by tomorrow!). It's the first "Other-Planetary" journey I've taken that puts me down in a completely new culture. Yes, I experienced culture shock in the first few chapters. She explores themes of gender and government, society and power relationships. It's fascinating and strange, in a good way. The "aliens" here aren't scary or weird; they are simply different. Again, like Miller's novel, it's so well-written that it's worth a read by anyone, even those who don't care for Star Trek, Star Wars, etc. It's different than you'd imagine.

What we have left for the course is Watchmen, the graphic novel that inspired the very graphic film of a few years ago. I'm not super excited about it, but next week is the one during which I  have to read it, so I guess it'll be over soon enough. After that, it's Red Mars, which I think is part of a series. 

Just so you don't think I'm crazy for saying how much work every week requires, let me tell you a little secret. In addition to reading a novel a week, we have one critical article and one short story, over which we have multiple discussions in our online class environment. For one novel, for example, there are typically around 150 comments. For one essay or short story, anywhere from 50 to 100. Reading everybody else's posts and trying to find new things to say about all of this is tiring. Yikes. In addition, we have one week in which we're responsible, with a partner, for leading discussion for one of those short stories, and another week for one of the critical essays. We also have 2 papers to write in our "free" time. I just about crashed and burned these last two weeks. In an effort to front-load my class work, to avoid being swamped when I go back to the Library in August, I ended up with all that reading, plus a paper, plus leading 2 class discussions between last week and this. Terrifying. I kind of hermitted myself away, but I have managed to get it all done (or I will have, by tomorrow). 

So that's my summer in a nutshell. I'm tired. 

When's my break?

Today's accomplishments

I've taken to creating lists for every day, just like my mom used to do for us when we were at home. Especially in the summer when kids are wont to be lazy. Now, I find myself creating them so that I can know exactly what tasks I'm faced with each day, and I must admit, marking them off gives a tremendous amount of satisfaction.

It feels good to be able to say, that today I:

• finished my first half-week's readings and aced the quiz
• participated in online discussion for class
• submitted a critical article review assignment (and got it back with a good grade!)
• drafted another film review assignment (for the 4-hour Hamlet which I watched Mon-Tues)
• ordered new lenses for my reading glasses (yup, still have 'em)
• picked up a ton of delicious food at the grocery (a lot of fruit for a fruit salad on Friday)
• made dinner: pesto with multi-grain penne, red potatoes, and fresh green beans (delicious)
• baked brownies for our Bible study movie night tonight (BBC's Sense & Sensibility)
• got some pulled pork BBQ started in the crock (to be finished tomorrow)

I didn't get my work out in this morning, but I slept in as a trade off. It felt great. Plus, my hip has been a little sore and I figured one day of complete rest would do some good. It does feel better, and will more so when I do my stretches. 

I've been moving my *apple butter item on the list to every subsequent day for two weeks. I think I might try this weekend. It takes like 10 hours with prep and crock cook time, and sometimes I just don't have the energy to face that. Peeling, coring, and cutting that many apples...makes my hands hurt just thinking about it.

I'm working hard to get my assignments done before Friday so that I can enjoy a full day of watching the 5-hour Pride & Prejudice with a friend. We've been planning on doing this for at least a month, maybe longer. I'm so glad we finally can! Add that to the Jane Austen movie we're watching tonight with my Bible study girls, and this is a perfect week full of awesomely talented English authors. My favorite!

What's your favorite Shakespearean play OR sonnet OR Jane Austen novel? (Interactive blogging, see? You're supposed to answer!)

Cooking Adventures, Part Deuce

Wednesday was my first day off for the summer (6 weeks, baby!). In my typical style, I tried to pack too many things into that first day. I have a list of things to accomplish, things that have been thwarted by 8-hour work days. I set out very early Wednesday to make that day count!


After an early work out session, I headed to the store to buy ingredients to make my own pesto. A few years ago, my lovely sister helped me out by making Lana-friendly pesto with organic produce from the farm where she was working. It was divine! And, since I cannot eat store-bought or restaurant-served pesto, I really wanted some more. It's a great addition to so many things: pasta, sandwiches, and the new discovery: pizza. The real reason I needed pesto pronto was due to Kim's recently posted pizza recipe. I wanted it. And my first day off was the day to do it. Kyle was off that day, so I knew he could knead pizza dough for me (something I sadly cannot do on my own). 


The grocery was very disappointing. No bulk basil for pesto. But I bought some spinach (because I had a hunch that could substitute in a pinch) and the remaining ingredients for the pizza. This meant I had to make the pizza before the produce went bad. Where to find massive quantities of basil? Where else but the farm! I stopped by and found out they were in desperate need of someone to basically groom the basil so it could grow bigger and more full. I did just that and scored probably 3 cups of teeny tiny basil leaves. Plus, I scored some spinach. This entire process took me until 2pm from grocery (10a) to returning from the farm. I was hot and tired, but very excited for pesto. So I began washing and rewashing and drying the spinach and basil. I picked the tiny stems from the tiny leaves. I de-stemmed the spinach. I gathered all of my ingredients and began to process the pesto. Our food processor is tiny, so it took several batches to get all the leaves ground down. Then, I added the garlic, oil, salt and pepper, and Parmesan. Group #1 of the pesto included all of the farm spinach and some basil. Group #2 included a larger proportion of basil and store-bought spinach. 


Here was my set up for this whole mess: 

 Yes, it was very messy.

But here's the finished product! I had two little jars like this and one large jar. 

I froze the two smaller ones and used the large one to make dinner.


The whole process ended around 4pm, at which point I collapsed of exhaustion on the floor, vegged out in front of the computer, and then took a shower to get ready for the next phase, which began a short two-hours later. We had to make dinner, people. And it was homemade Pizza. Something I had never done before. Luckily, I'm married to former pizza maker extraordinaire, so we were in good hands. 


Although not the best picture, this was Kim's recipe for Kale, Tomato, Pesto Pizza. (See here for what to do with the leftover pesto, tomato, and gouda.)

It boasts a whole wheat crust (so yum), pesto for the sauce, then completely covered in gouda (oh, heavenly), then tomatoes and kale piled on top. We added some shredded Italian cheese to the top because we love cheese. 


It was unbelievable. We will be eating this again. We also used this time to see how our pizza stone works. Fairly well, if I do say so myself. I even ate two leftover pieces of pizza for lunch today and they were good reheated. What?! I doubted, but I was wrong. Mmm, mmm, good. 


Another cooking success, and with 3 jars of pesto to show for the day, I feel completely satisfied with my first day off. Oh, and by the way, I also made chicken and bean tacos in the crock pot that morning and tuna salad for lunch. It's like I love the kitchen or something (no, I don't). 

Cooking Adventures, Part 1

I really enjoy cooking. I wouldn't say that I'm always creative or that I even always feed Kyle and myself well. However, when I have time to try something new and it sounds divine or has gotten a good rating from friends, I actually get excited!


In the past few weeks, we've tried several new dishes. The best by far turned out to be the Prosciutto-wrapped pork chops, rosemary roasted potatoes (a new recipe), and broiled asparagus. The desert suggested with it was Red wine Pear Sorbet. We found this recipe while watching a show one random Saturday in the fall. It was intimidating. I had never heard of Prosciutto before and while the woman on the show made it look SO stinking easy, I knew that couldn't be true. But, we were pumped and embarked on this cooking adventure together (thankfully, as there was rubbing raw meat with spices involved; and we all know I don't do that). 


Little did we know what was in store for us. The meat and potatoes were stove-based, so we had three pans going at once. And the oil spatter started early. Hot, searing pings of sizzling oil...all over everything. Gross. Then, because we have a stupid, old coil stove, they didn't cook evenly and one was scorching while the other was just okay. Kyle would have thrown in the towel, well he kind of did emotionally when he checked the first pan of 2 pork chops. He tossed the tongs and said, "That's it. Ruined. Stupid stove!" I wasn't ready to give in to despair just yet. I had shelled out a lot of money for these chops and the wrapping Prosciutto. Plus, even if it's gross, I actually really liked charred food. 


So we continued in this atmosphere: 

 Scared and nervous, yet hopeful.

The whole house became engulfed in smoke from the stove. We opened 'er up and had fans going at both doors. I was bound and determined to win against this meal! In the midst of this fog, we heated up the oven to 450 for asparagus. What were we thinking?! It was HOT.


As it turned out, I hadn't read the directions very closely. The potatoes took 30 minutes (duh! Of course they would.) and everything else about 10. Plus, the dessert took over night. Epic fail by Lana! We ended up with pork chops and asparagus together, let it sit for a while and then had a few potato pieces. We were stuffed by this time. No room for the dessert that was waiting in the freezer for the next day when we had round 2 of this meal: 

Our assessment of the meal was: delicious! The char was perfect (I wouldn't have it any other way). The asparagus (olive oil and sea salt) gave a totally new texture and color to the plate, which was fun. The potatoes had just a hint of rosemary, which is different from how we normally make them. And the subtlety worked for this dish. Kyle did mention he'd prefer our other method for the potatoes next time, but all in all...yums!


Truth be told, it was just as good, if not better the next day. Even I was skeptical about that, and I will eat anything for leftovers. The dessert was phenomenal, too. Mmmm. I love pears (right, Grandpa?!)!


This cooking success made me even more eager to try out some other new dishes that I've gleaned from friends' and cousins' blogs. Yesterday was another cooking adventure, but more on that later.


Email me if you want these recipes. They are SO worth it.

Vacation: Early May

We really didn't capture pictures of much while we were on our Phoenix/Mexico vacation. However, I'll post the few cute ones we got, and also one that Maddie took of us that is less-than-flattering, but funny. You can tell how antsy she is to be in the ocean rather than being forced to take a picture of her aunt and uncle.

Also, we burned very badly. Not as bad as NC 2004, or whatever summer that was that I acquired those lobster legs that prevented me from sitting comfortably for a week. No, not that bad. We have been peeling ever since we returned, however. Not that anyone would notice here; we're all wearing sweaters and winter coats still, so no peely shoulders or arms are visible.

The Book Thief, review

I haven't done many book reviews here, yet even as I don't necessarily feel adequate in writing this one, I must. It compels me.

Steph gave me this book for my birthday, I believe. I was in the middle of a grueling semester which transitioned into an insanely busy spring (not from schoolwork, however, but doctor visits and stretching). My first chance to read something for my own pleasure came over my two week hiatus from classes at the beginning of May. I was looking for something light following a semester of depressing, dark, self-destructive narratives in Post Colonial literature. This intriguing title and picture on the book cover nabbed me from my bookshelf.

I began the book on our 4-hour plane ride to Phoenix. The Prologue was so unique and enticing that I made Kyle read it. What does it mean, he asked. I didn't know, but knew I had to find out. Thus, I delved into this mysterious, incredible story, and I never looked up. I didn't reach for my iPod. I didn't talk to Kyle. I read while snacking on pretzels and sipping ginger ale. I hardly rested my eyes for any length of time. I didn't want to stop. It was hard for me to focus on talking to my sister when she picked us up from the airport...the vivid characters were milling about in my mind, wanting to continue their story.

I really don't want to give any of the novel away; it is absolutely so unique in style and frame. I hardly want to tell you what point of view it is written from, in case it would ruin the wonder and the mastery of it. I want others to read it in order to find out if I am the lone human being so touched by this story. On the flight home, I wept and I wasn't even at the very end. A few days later as I finished it on a break at my work desk, I had to pause at discreet, short intervals in order to collect myself. But the tears came anyway. This story is unbelievable.

The New York Times said, "It's the kind of book that can be LIFE CHANGING," and USA Today stated that it "deserves a place on the same shelf with The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank." The Washington Post claims it is "absorbing and searing."

I cannot disagree. Though fictional, it is no less compelling and true to the heart of humankind as Anne Frank's diary.This book did change my life, although I'm not entirely sure how. I know that I shall never forget it, as long as I live (and that's an extremely bold statement, I know).

I found myself wondering in the middle of it, whether I could somehow finagle my master's thesis from this book, or at least incorporate it as one of the texts. I just want an excuse to read it again.

Here is my concise praise for this book:

It is, by far, the best modern fiction I have read (granted, I don't read much modern fiction). 

It moved me. 

I want you to read it so we can talk about it. Are you up for it? Have you read this? Will you?

What is the best fiction / nonfiction that you've read lately, something that you know you can never forget?

Reassessing My Position

It's the end of April and I need to pause a second to reflect. What has come of this school year? Of this semester? Of this month? Where am I?

This week I have met with yet another doctor to assess my lower back, leg nerve issues. The shot did help, but I still have pain. I have very good days with little pain at all, and then days like today, with quite a bit. Sitting always makes it worse, which is unfortunate since my job requires a lot of sitting and life requires a lot of driving. This doctor has assured me that by meeting with him twice a week for an indefinite amount of time, I will get better. He believes that in addition to the piriformis / sciatica issues, I have chronic lower back problems. Great! Add it to the list, people.

I have to admit that it is extremely difficult not to have a bad attitude about all of the medical professionals I've seen and monies we have spent on trying to fix this problem. It scares me to think what if this is what the rest of my life looks like? Maybe I'm just a chronic health money pit. More frustrating than anything to me, I think, is seeing how our savings are dwindling...that money is supposed to be stowed away for a house down payment. And here I am spending it on myself. On medical professionals who may or may not help. On ridiculously extravagant medical bills that make me wonder what the heck could possibly cost that much money based on what I know they did or didn't do for me!

I'm supposed to believe that everything happens for a reason. And I kind of do. But at the same time, this 10-month ordeal is starting to make me question it. What is the point?, dear Lord, please tell me. I do, honestly, want to know. I need to see a higher purpose because I'm floundering in the needless pain. And yet, what is my suffering in the face of worldwide suffering? Ah, perspective.

Last night I completed my final exam for my course this semester. It's great to check off Year 1 of Grad School, Round 2. Only two more years to go (yikes). Hopefully, our situation will allow me to simultaneously work on my thesis while taking other courses. We'll see. If I continue to have semesters like this one, with little work, then it shouldn't be a problem. However, if they resemble the fall semester workload, there's no way thesis will get done. I think it is very possible to finish a semester earlier than planned. I'm hopeful.

The end of the line

If I had to ask myself tonight if I was doing my absolute best to prepare for my final....my answer would be...um, no.

Did I do dishes and make food last night instead of studying: Yes.
Did I watch TV for 3 hours tonight: Yes.
Did I go for a walk: Yes.
Did I do my stretches, which take 45 minutes: Yes.

Do I care about my final: Yes.

Although my actions don't really speak much to the last answer, it's true. I do care. But, on the other hand, it's only 10% of my grade, a grade which is, to date, in very good shape.

Will I pass the final: Yes.

And I will be oh-so-glad to be done driving 3 hours a week for 4 months!

Phone Pics

Here are some cute shots of Quincy that I finally pulled off of my phone. Until today, I haven't known how to transfer pictures from my phone to the computer. Turns out, it's fairly simple, but incredibly time consuming as you have to do it 1-by-1 and the phone goes back to the main menu after each item, requiring about 5 different buttons to be pushed, and then every picture in order to be scrolled through. Ridiculous undertaking!

 Dryer Kitty

Here's a new way to get a fluffy kitty!

 Using my food-transporting bag as a resting spot.

Naturally.

 What did I do?

 Rope kitty.

While Kyle was learning all the knots for 

his firefighter class,

Quincy enjoyed playing with it, also known as chewing.

 This is the oldest picture on my phone, so I'm guessing

it's from August. He's so small in this picture!

 Apparently, we're exhausting to be around.

One of my favorites.

He looks so proud and lion-esque. 

He is sitting here, just so you know, 

with his two front arms shoved into 

Kyle's Doc Martens. 

All of his body weight is resting on/in the boot. 

He is a strange being.

Missed Milestone

Yesterday as I was driving home from class (only 1 week to go!), I glanced down at my odometer while I was chatting with Kyle.

100001.

Oh no! I missed it by one stinking mile! It hadn't occurred to me that when I left UIndy at 99,959 I would need to pay attention on my drive home so as not to miss Sophia's birthday! But, alas, I did.

I say birthday in a relative term. Birthdays are kind of like life milestones--Oh, congrats, you made it to 30, or to 50, etc. In a car it might be more like 50,000 miles then 100,000, then 200,000, and so on. I have a feeling Sophia will have a long life.

I got Sophia Bellona (goddess of wisdom and war) 6 years ago in April. Days after her delivery to me, she received hail damage during a typical Indiana spring tornadic storm. I never got it fixed. I should have realized it was her lot in life to receive such small, almost incidental, but still annoying dinks. Just this month I discovered a nice dent where a car door slammed into her (during my whirlwind trip to Wheaton), as well as a couple of line scratches in the driver's door from a car wash last week. Nice, Mike's Car Wash. Last fall I had a random fist-sized rock slam into the windshield out of NOWHERE one morning, and this deeply scratched the glass in several places, leaving red traces of the stone. It was weird. And let's not forget a few years ago when she lost an eye. She's been through a lot.

Anyway...despite these setbacks, she carries on, and quite well at that. Sophia has safely transported me at least 3 times to North and South Carolina, once to Michigan, a couple of times to Illinois and Ohio, and all over the state of Indiana. She's a really good car, aside from her very poor venting system (it blows out air even when everything is turned off, which is mostly irritating in the summer when it blows hot wind into the already stifling interior).

Here's a sad little picture I snapped this morning on my way to Marion. As I've traveled nearly 200 miles in 2 days, I only remembered to snap a milestone photo for her as I sat waiting for a light to change. 55 miles over.

Mid-April? Really?

I sit here trying to focus my mind on the tasks at hand, but I'm scattered today. It's been one of those days where every blasted thing is like the biggest thing in the world. Why the drama?, I keep asking myself. But I give no answer. I'm sipping something I just discovered at the national coffee chain: Cocoa Cappuccino. Yes, please! It's delicious.

There is so much going on, but I feel all of it is boring. I say that merely to explain the lack of clever / exciting / intriguing / well-written content here.

I'm particularly dissatisfied right now with where I am in life. I find myself doing all these things to survive and nothing that helps me do that well. I don't have time for the contemplation that my introvertedness so earnestly desires. I want to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to get more accomplished in the morning, but every time I try, I don't wake up early. I'm just getting more restless sleep.

Today I'm frustrated by my hip. I've been walking every day since the shot for about 30 minutes, which is to say at a slow pace and therefore only 1.5 miles at most. That is not really aerobic, but it's moving, which is something I haven't been able to do comfortably or regularly since August. Yesterday, I felt the strange twisting feeling behind my kneecap. The one that I know is nerve-related. Today, my inner hip is sore and incredibly tight, despite the 30 minutes of stretching I do every day. There is a very dull, but unfortunately present, ache in my hip...it's the nerve. This is the nerve pain. I just want it to be gone.

What to do with this disappointment? What to do with my desire to get back into shape, when I can in no way begin cardio? How can I be living if I'm simply coping with pain and getting through the days and weeks...living for the weekends when I can lie down to rest (for that is the only comfortable position, and even then, not for extended periods of time)? I want to read books that encourage me, not ones that are depressing and hopeless (my current class has only depressing literature). I want to engage with friends on a deeper level than I'm allowed. I want to visit people I haven't seen in years that live within a day's drive. I want time and I want to at least feel like I'm living somewhat of a worthwhile life. Right now, it simply doesn't feel that way.

Yes, that's a dramatic statement. I know. Today is a dramatic day. But these are thoughts that have been mixing around in my distracted little brain for many days and weeks.

How does one reconcile real life with the life you want? How do you make that happen?

Easier than imagined

I got my second cortisone shot ever today. First one in my hand, and afterward it turned an awkward shade of blue and swelled to at least twice the size. It was terrifying. It felt eerie. I knew all of this going in to today, but now, since I was getting this shot in my...booty, I wasn't sure what to expect. 


Would the whole thing really turn blue? Would just the one cheek? 


Okay, so I'm not going to share who my doctor is, but when I first met him 2 weeks ago, I was flabbergasted. It feels like he's always telling a joke, but he delivers every line, or statement, or question 100% deadpan. He repeats himself every few seconds, even if you've already started answering the question he just asked and is now repeating, word-for-word. He talks over you. He confuses me, but for whatever reason, I trusted him. And, after my second opinion a few days later, I decided to go ahead with the shot. With him administering the shot.


This doctor and his nurse are probably two of the only medical professionals I've ever met who seem to have a seriously developed sense of humor. They smile; the nurse laughs...a lot. They joke. Helps to put one at ease, especially when one knows they are about ready to stick a needle in one's backside. 


Kyle came with today, as I needed a driver in the 10% chance that my entire leg would go numb and I wouldn't have control of it. (I was mentally prepared to be a part of that 10%...chances, with me, are very high for the slim percentages.)


The shot and recovery took 5 minutes, okay maybe 8. The worst part was the stick from the local anesthesia needle. My leg has felt numb, tingly, extremely heavy and uncomfortable all day. But there isn't really pain. Not the same pain I've been having for 9 months which led to today. 


I count today a success. I look forward to the lessening pain and getting back to a life I want to live, one with regular exercise including running. (Not anytime too soon, of course, but a girl can hope for eventually, can't she?)

Monday, for the win!

Can't say I normally heart Mondays. I always have a long afternoon shift at the Desk, which is typically fairly boring and the keyboard hurts my hands, so I try not to use it too much.


Today was Kyle and I's first Monday evening of rest together since...well...August. I had a Monday night class last semester and this semester he had Monday night classes. I didn't even realize how monumental this was until calculating it right now. I just knew it was kind of a big deal.


We'd decided over the weekend that we wanted Pizza Hut, so tonight seemed a proper celebratory time. Kyle also got a first-Monday-of-the-Month free rental from the RedBox, so we grabbed Tangled, snagged a few Fantas from the fridge and settled in with pizza, fresh veggies, and the movie. It was so funny, the food--delicious, the evening--wonderful.


But, back to the real world...or not. Tomorrow we both have a 1/2 day of work, as I'm scheduled for my cortisone shot in my piriformis muscle to relieve this incessant sciatica.

Okay...that's enough

Winter, I'm done with you. Be Gone!

Even if the snow was pretty today, I despised it. The day was too cold.

My office is freezing.

April begins in 2 days. We don't have a place for snow in April. No more, I beg of you.

Leave us alone.

Spring Break in a Nutshell

Spring Break was a busy week. But with all good things.

We had a parental birthday party back home with the whole fam. It was awesome...and now, so many children!

Clearly, Dad had no idea what to do

with his new Kindle. I love this expression!

Mom is pumped about her new, extremely heavy

marble rolling pin.

Jane obviously enjoying the birthday party.

The two oldest granddaughters with their Papa.

Maddie helped with the cake and was very proud.

They are so grown up!

I made it a long weekend at home, coming back just in time to make lots of food for friends with new babies. Here's a list of all the food items I made this week:

• Spinach Egg casserole and multiple pots of coffee
• Cinnamon coffee cake (double batch for extra yummies)
• Meatloaf and mashed potatoes with steamed veggies
• Lentil Rice bake with ham, veggies, and fruit salad (for 1 family)
• Pizza rice casserole, garlic bread, veggies, and cookies (for 1 family)
• Savory ham and rice, veggies, fruit salad, and cookies (for another family)
• Smoked ham and cheese tortilla with chopped boiled egg

I also had homework to catch up on for class on Thursday, had some work preparation to do for next week, had a specialist doctor's appointment in town (relatively speaking) on Tuesday, a second opinion in Chicago on Saturday morning, and tried to find time for working out and Bible reading. It was a lot to cram into one week that was supposed to be about rest. But, every piece of this week was well worth it:

• I spent quality time with my entire family.
• I helped out three families who are probably exhausted and needing to not have to think about dinner.
• I have found some resolution (in theory) to my nerve/leg/hip problems that have been bothering me (to put it lightly) over the last 8 months.
• I even managed to take better care of myself and feed my husband something worth eating.

There is a lot facing me in the next two weeks. It's a busy time of semester at work. It's a busy time of semester in school. We're beginning to see friends again (after a couple-week break). It's Wilson family birthday season (which includes Kyle's birthday). Needless to say, there is a lot on my mind.

I find myself so grateful for good friends and loving family, for random times to process and other times to just get through, for my kitty (who is precious a great deal of the time), for loving what I do and what I'm studying, for having enough, even more than enough. And, for being blessed so that I can bless others. Even as I sit here in a great deal of pain, not knowing when the pain will end and when I can attempt to get back into shape, I can say God is good. I feel his love; I see his work. And for tonight, for this week, this year, this life, that is enough.