It's been an entire week...I know

My problem is not material, I have plenty to write about. My problem is finding time. In the past week, I have been home long enough each evening or day to sleep or pack or eat or burn some CDs for my road trip or wish I had more time to clean.

I had things going on Thursday and Friday nights, all day Saturday, church on Sunday morning and then packing for my very brief trip to the Deep South, which encompassed a great deal of Sunday and all of Monday. I woke up Tuesday, drove home and went to work until 10pm. Today was a regular 8-5 day, with working out directly after work. This gives me, generally, 7-midnight for "Lana time".

I can't finish books (I'm in the middle of 4 or 5, with four more sitting around waiting to be started). I can't finish my January and February filing. I can't find time to clean, to cook, to sit around and relax. I'm moving from the moment my snooze rings for the third time until I crash into bed around midnight every night.

I keep looking ahead, wondering when my rest will come. And I think I'm going to have to pencil it in. Seriously. That's ridiculous.

Today as I rummaged around my pantry for something sweet, I found the box of chocolates that Emily gave me for Christmas. Yep, it's still here. How is that possible? I grabbed one and popped it in my mouth, only to stop mid-chew.

The taste was familiar, yet distant. I bit down again, scanning through my memory for what this related to. Something good. Something I enjoy...or did, at one time.
Got it! Peanut Butter. I was eating peanut butter.

Now, as I've sworn off of this stuff for good reason (something to do with internal all-consuming itching, external swelling and redness, and more recently, pains in my chest), it's been at least a year since I've tasted this, my favorite food.

But I couldn't stop. It was that good. I ate it.
Thirty minutes later, I sit here itching. And hoping my allergy or intolerance or whatever it is, allows me to keep working.

Little tastes of heaven. Someday I will eat peanut butter to my heart's content. *sigh
Oh, for that day.

All credit goes to Liz

She's the one who showed this to me.

As of yesterday, I'm pretty sure my life has been irrevocably changed. I don't know what that means, and I don't know where I'm going, what ride I'm on, or who's necessarily in charge (if anyone could be).

All I know is that I like it. This adventure.

I'm in.

Playing catch up

Starting January first, my life began spinning out of control. I cannot explain all of the things that have been going on, but I will say that I've reconnected with several friends I haven't seen in forever (Kate, Leslie), I've had more fun and ended up more random places (skiing in Michigan, vacationing in Florida) in one month than is typical for a January.

But the insanity doesn't end. Every weekend from now until who knows when, I'm sure to be busy, to be driving somewhere. Not that I'm complaining, oh, because I'm most assuredly not. I'm just saying...

I haven't gotten much sleep. I've lost 5 lbs in a week. I can't concentrate at work or at home, and it's starting to throw me completely off kilter. I have an important job situation coming up here in a week, and I need to be at my brightest and most impressive. However, I can't find the motivation to make the necessary preparations. I just don't care about this anymore.

Today I am the most tired I've been in weeks. But I'm on my way home to see Aaron, my military friend, who's on leave. Feels like I haven't seen him in a year and I don't know when I'll get another chance. Tonight's it. I'm going.

Despite my best intentions, I am really not sure if I can make it back to my area for church tomorrow. I really want to, I love this church and being a part of it has changed my life, my perspective, in a number of ways. But, as I'm nearly falling asleep as I type this, I'm not positive I'll be able to drive three hours tonight and spend quality time with my Aaron. (sigh)

I feel like I need three whole days to recover my stabilization, my sleep patterns, and my scheduled life.

But the truth is, I wouldn't change my present situation for anything.
Figure that one out.

I hate this part of my life...

Sunday's High temperature where I live: 3
will feel like -4 with the windchill

___________________________________________________

Sunday's High temperature in Phoenix, where my sister lives: 75


Why, God, why must I endure this frigidity?

Word of the Day for Feb. 6th

Generally not for the faint of heart or easily offended, Urban Dictionary is one of the most interesting collaborative social-networking-esque dictionaries of our time.

I enjoyed the Word of the Day on Feb. 6th:

disneyfication
verb

1. The act of taming the world to make it all safe, clean, and completely similar to a theme park.

2. To remove the sharp edges and darkness that is life.

On music and life...

Sometimes, when you hear a particularly beautiful song, you have to stop and reevaluate your life.

Because the song is so beautiful and so true that you identify with it -- and you almost wonder for a moment if the singer knows you, or if you're someone other than who you thought you were.

You become the musician, and the musician becomes you.

(comment by a friend)