Such happiness and sadness all at once

What an amazing weekend!

My sister from NC shows up, just walking down the road in front of our house as if she owned the town. I wasn't going to see her until Thanksgiving, she reminded me last week when we talked. She's such a liar, and a darn good sneak. This is the second time in a year that she's lied to me, in order to glean all the information she can about what's going on with the family reunions and then flown up, and with the help of our ever-ready cousin Brian, surprised us with her presence. Last time she came in a futon box - sealed up and everything. This time, she was walking past like the dozen or so other people in the neighborhood. She's crazy!

To add to the excitement, Evan's fiance, Emily, also showed up - surprising all of us, again with the assistance of Brian.

We had a fabulous family reunion with 72 people in attendance yesterday at the Francesville Park. About half of them, my dad noticed, were under 4 feet tall. My aunt Judy was offended by that statement, but it was true, most of them children, with the except of Judy and one or two other women.

Mom flew out to AZ today to see Katie. We're all pretty jealous and sad that we'll not see her till August or longer. Ev might not see her until his wedding in November.

The most heartbreaking thing happened this weekend, clouding everything with an emptiness. Jeffery - my cat of 18 years - died on Sunday morning. He'd been starving himself, or not able to eat, for weeks. He was nothing but a pile of bones with one very swollen and disfigured back foot. He couldn't see very well; he'd turn to the wall or the corner or anywhere away from you when you'd offer him canned cat food (a special treat). His last few months have been awful - every movement he made was strained and took every ounce of energy the poor guy had. Makes me cry just thinking about it.

I couldn't bear the thought of him living in pain, the cause of many tears. But I couldn't bear the idea of "euthanizing" or "killing" him, either - which were the only other options my mom could find. Perhaps I've always put a little too much personality and humanity into my cats, but there was no way I could justify taking his life even when I didn't want to watch him suffer. Is there an answer to this dilemma? How do people justify turning off machines and....oh I don't know. It's death and I don't handle it well at all.

I think Maddie is going to be a knock out! This is how she'll have her hair done for her role as the Flower Girl in Uncle Evan's wedding in November. 

Matching dresses...can you believe how proud Maddie looks? They are two peas in a pod. 

Sisters - Maddie and Katie 

Another Steve-ism

"Can you imagine us in taupe suits?" He grimaces as Evan covers his face with a blanket.

"I'd look like an inverted banana." Evan falls out of his easy chair, laughing.

This is why we love him and keep him around. Who thinks these things, let alone says them?

My dad is hilarious.

Anticlimax

Whoever knew that graduation would ever not be a big deal. I graduated from college - four years of higher education. My friends and I were all sitting in a row together, well, I like most of the English majors and there we were, altogether. I walked up with them. I received a diploma and a towel. I bought a beautiful skirt/shirt combo and high-heeled shoes for the occassion. We wore robes of synthetic fibers, baking in the sun.

Even though I couldn't sleep last night - the inner anticipation of the "big day" - even though I cleaned 45% of the apartment by myself - despite all of this, The Big Day was a few hours in an uncomfortable chair, a photo-op with my parents, brother and grandparents afterward, three significant hugs with friends that I love dearly and may never see again, and a jungle of black robes and sun-burned faces separating me from most of the people I have come to identify with in the last year.

I drove around campus one last time, just so I could soak it all up - everything I love and hate about Taylor. It wasn't until that point that I felt any sadness. As I passed the dorms, I saw the faces of my friends on the strangers who were transporting their lives to the back of their pickups.

Despite my negativity towards Taylor, there are a great number of people who have forever impacted me. I wish I could give them all space here to thank them. Professors, employers, friends.

I cannot believe I never have to return to Fairlane Apartment 2 J. I cannot believe I never have to sit through another lecture in a circle in Reade Center. I cannot believe I'm free from the tortures of the DC and the Grille. I cannot believe I will never again live with my friends, within two miles of all of them. I cannot believe I didn't even get to say goodbye to two-thirds of them.

Were these the best days? Are they over?
Did I miss out? Did I mess up? Did I forget to mention how important you are to me?

The first time

I graduated from college today. First time.

I actually achieved a long-term goal - graduating with honors. Again, first time.

My boob-staring friend looked at my skirt, not my boobs. First time!
When I was relating the story to Liz, I might have said a bit too loudly, "At my skirt, not my boobs!" Just then, a friend whom I don't know very well walked around the corner. I gasped.
"Did you just hear what I said?"
He turned his face, though I could see his smile, and walked slowly away from me, nodding his head.
Slightly awkward.