Wedding weekend

Mid-May, we had a wedding weekend with some great friends.

Here are a couple of my favorite pics from the event.

On their way from ceremony to reception: Matt & Courtney

At the reception

The wedding party

To honor Elaine

August has continued to blow my mind with beautiful mornings, afternoons, and sunsets. It's been warmer this week, but not dreadfully hot as all Augusts past have been. I'm still in love with all of this.

Tomorrow marks the end of my work week -- my Friday on a Thursday, if you will. I get to travel to Chicago to participate in my best friend's wedding. Prior to the grand event on Saturday, we're hosting a college-friend get-together on the Chicago beach, complete with a picnic. There are many reasons I'm psyched for this weekend. Seeing Elaine officially joined to Jim for life, for sure. Also, seeing Liz for the first time since she moved while I was in Arizona this summer, thus for the first time since I've been engaged and am almost married. Getting back together with some of the sweetest college friends, also, including Sarah M., Cat R., Sus, Sarah & Steve, Elizabeth M., Abby & Katie... And on top of it all, Kyle gets to meet them, to see the reasons why I adore each one and how they've impacted my life. I love these people. To be together in a group with them might make me cry with sheer happiness.

We're staying with another friend of mine, unrelated to this group. She and I met the summer before my freshmen year of high school at an FCA volleyball camp. She caught my attention with a phenomenal vocal performance of "Remember Me This Way" (from the Casper soundtrack), and we've been fast friends ever since. Christina and I only get a chance to see one another every five years or so. It's been at least that long, and to be able to catch up will be such a blessing. This girl is full of energy and love and I cannot wait to reconnect.

I've been anticipating this weekend since March and am thrilled it's finally here!

Good things

As my time winds down at work for the year (academic year, that is), I've been extremely busy with major projects and meetings and, most recently, library field trips. Two were scheduled this week - one 14-hour day that was a tour of Northern Indiana academic libraries, and one all-day meeting in Indy. Next week, my boss and I have another all day meeting that relates to the 14-hour day tour.

In addition to that, I spent the entirety of last week working on a project for freshmen that will be implemented in the Fall. I had to learn two new pieces of software that deal with sound and video recording and editing, things I know nothing about. But it was fun to learn new equipment and to see the end products. Yesterday, I found out they'd accidentally reset the computer on which I did all of my work and they lost it all. I had saved a couple of unfinished products elsewhere, so have to rebuild from them. Ultimately frustrating!

Despite all that drama, I've been very blessed recently to get to spend lots of time with people I love. Memorial Day weekend probably couldn't have been better or more relaxing. Movies, food, tons of old and new people, multiple naps a day...it was awesome. It ended with a cookout at Sara's with her duplex-neighbors, who Leslie would love to go on adventures with. They tell the best stories. Last night was movie night with a new friend in Upland, someone who could very well make the rest of my time here bearable.

Game night is tomorrow at Leslie D's, and I can't wait to break out dominoes, perhaps Settlers, and Scattergories. Later this weekend I get to see my family.

See what I mean about good things? My cup overflows.

Elaine

How cute is she?

Even worse than feeling like a loser because of a lack of electronic correspondence...

...is finding out you, a person who loves and cherishes words, used one incorrectly.

How many of you noticed and said nothing? Jerks!

At least I know I have one true friend who calls me out on typos and other misuses of terms, phrases, and general mistakes.

Reasons this weekend rocked

When I started working as a professional in January of 2007, I quickly realized what people mean when they say they live for the weekends. However, at that stage of my life, I didn't have anything exciting going on - I simply enjoyed the break from the work cycle.

This year has brought with it an entirely new facet of living for the weekend. This is part of the reason:
(I did have the wrong bike and the wrong picture. Dang it. I've fixed it, I think.)

And while I'm certainly not the person driving this lovely pile of metal, chrome, and rubber, that doesn't preclude me from treasuring the moments aboard it.

I've learned a lot about myself in recent years. Things like I love riding motorcycles, despite the fact that they've terrified me since the 8th grade when one of my friend's brothers died in a horrible bike accident. I've also learned that I love to communicate and tell stories.
But there's more to it. I've begun to trust people, which is refreshing and liberating. Although I still like to have control, I can now give up some of it to others, which makes my life easier in the long run.

Another major breakthrough in the last year and a half is the discovery that I don't hate games as much I thought I did. Board games, card games, word games, you name it, the Gottschalks play it. The gaming has gotten quite out of control as Evan and Emily joined forces and have created the Game Closet On-the-Go, that is to say, the trunk of Evan's car is a portable game storage unit. I say out of control, and yet we all participate and have a blast every time we meet up because of this unifying force.

On Friday night, some of my friends (Leslie D., Kyle, and Sara W.) joined up with a few other people for a Game Night. It was the second one this semester, and I'm fairly certain we shall continue an every-other-month schedule of such events. Never has there been more laughter--pure, unabashed cackling, giggling, snorting, and silent shaking. One newbie, M.J. has the most contagious laugh ever. He didn't stop laughing all evening. We played MadGab and nearly continued to Pictionary and Win, Lose, or Draw, but discovered a lack of pieces for both. Thus, we ended up on Catch Phrase (a personal fav).

Stories abounded, too. From the moment Leslie, Jessi, and M.J. walked in the door talking about a miscommunication involving pie and a bike, to Sara's kindergarten treasure (it was vomit week for her--as well as school pictures) and her friend Kenzie's fire in the men's locker room story from work, we were rolling. Several times I found my self face-planted on the couch, unable to breathe or sit up.

I love these people, and our evening definitely set the tone for one heck of a weekend.

Knowing what awaits me at work tomorrow (4 classes of freshmen and a mess of a web site), I fully comprehend living for weekends. Spending time with my friends, laughing hysterically, playing games, and cruising around on a hot bike. Who wouldn't want that? How could that not make your day...or week?

Feeling completely domesticated...

I baked cookies last night, my favorite kind: molasses crinkles, with the intention of giving them to my neighbors who are my friends, that is my friendly neighbors.

The list is...well...short. Mary Ellen, my 70-something duplex-sharer who is so sweet, whose children refurbished the outside of my home when they did her's, and who has a tiny mini-yorkie named Ginger who is so adorable I almost can't stand it. Dereck, my across the street, caddy-corner neighbor who has been a friend since we lived in the same dorm my sophomore year of college, that is to say, five years ago. Liz & Chalupa, my dear friends who keep me sane and who have fed me and entertained me more than anyone else here in Upland. I've known Liz since Freshman year and Chalupa since she married him last year. I love them both.

As Dereck is rarely home due to his somewhat schizophrenic job, I couldn't deliver the cookies to him last night. But I did visit Mary Ellen and Ginger, where we exchanged phone numbers and had a pleasant chat about Christmas/winter plans. I really want to be this woman's friend. I think we should play dominoes or scrabble this winter. How fun would that be?

When I got to Liz & Chalupa's, I was greeted by four people--Sara & Landon were there--which was very exciting. I'm not sure I've seen much of them since they got married in July. Sara made me a besprinkled and frosted snowman cookie before I left.

At work yesterday, I discovered a co-worker loves molasses cookies and he told me if I brought him even a half of a cookie it would make his month. I brought him six. He's happy.

Being neighborly is fun. You learn interesting things about people and are given cookies in exchange for your cookies. I remember when I used to think fostering relationships was a waste of my time. It wasn't even that long ago. I'm glad I got over that. Loving people, in whatever way you can, makes a difference for them, but also in you. Loving people has changed me, even if it's as simple as walking next door.

It's Christmas. Do something kind and generous for someone else. See if it brightens their face and your mood.

I have not been kidnapped by librarians, (ahem. Beka.) but I have been busy and tired. Thus the lack of posting. Plus, let's face it, when I get super busy, it's usually not with interesting things. Posting, then, becomes problematic.

I had to drive 4 hours total on Wednesday to get my permanent retainer reattached - an appointment which took about 30 minutes. I was the only patient in the office, and only a receptionist and one technician were in the entire building. Oh, except for the cat that lives in Dr.'s office. Yes, a cat lives there. "Doctor loves cats." according to his receptionist.

As I was leaving the following morning at 6:30 to do an airport run and then attend an all-day database training session (which I was actually excited about) in Indy, I planned to get a full night's rest. But alas, my anxiety for oversleeping my alarm kept me up the entire night. I did not sleep at all. At 4:30, I finally looked at my clock and prayed for an hour of sleep. An hour later, I sat straight up, not having slept at all, and proceeded with getting ready. Hit rush hour on the way down. Barely made it to class because, I assumed like an idiot, that I was attending a small gathering in a small town (apparently I'm really used to rural Indiana at this point). I had to find a parking garage and then find the building to find the room in which our session was taking place. Thank God I had allowed a few extra minutes. I made the mistake of not carrying cash with me, which means, you can't pay for parking. The attendant looked at me as if I was the dumbest person alive and asked if I had a check. I did. Accidentally, but I did. So I wasn't imprisoned in the parking garage for the rest of the night.

The day was pretty fun, not because I hadn't slept or because the training was that engaging, but mostly because I met a new friend. Her name is Beth and she and I have led oddly parallel lives, even having some of the same friends, but had never met. Her dad's a prof where I work and went to school. She attended SLIS, leaving a month before I began. We worked the same job at IU. Her early librarian mentors were mine, too. She knows one of my best friends. Everywhere I've gone in the past three or four years, I've heard her name, been asked if I knew her, and generally have felt like I've been following in the footsteps of someone I would rather like if I could catch up with her.

Finally, we met. And she's fabulous. Not only did she keep me awake in the class by chatting with me from her office, but she bought my lunch, offered to infuse me with caffeine, and even invited me to chill at her downtown apartment so I could miss most of rush hour. We decided it'd be awesome to work together, although, in all likelihood, we'd never get any actual work done.

To recap briefly, I've traveled several hundred miles in the past two weeks (maybe more than that), hit rush hour several times, visited with people, met lots of new people, all the while trying to do my job, find time to eat, exercise, and sleep. Goals met with moderate success.

I'll try to do better, and should be able to seeing that my summer vacation starts in a week! Woot!

I am amazed, at times, how easily I can convince myself of certain needs. More clothes, new shoes, kitchen gadgets, more books, movies, cds, etc. These needs aren't always materialistic, it turns out. I have recently convinced myself that I need to find another friend - someone new, I guess - not to replace anyone or to substitute for friends I can't see everyday (or every year), but to bring more diversity into my life. And also, to be my workout partner.

I'm usually a loner, have been pretty much all my life. Yet, this whole living-by-one's self deal has thrown me off kilter. Sometimes I simply wish for another person sitting somewhere in my house - the knowledge of the presence of another human is all I want. At the very least, it'd be nice to have someone as equally unattached to anything or anyone else as myself. Someone nearby who's always ready for a last minute movie fix or spontaneous road trip. I feel that every single person needs another single person if for nothing more than affirmation.

Perhaps this is simply self-pity. But I'd like to think it is more about choosing to be honest with myself. I can't be a loner anymore. While it has proved a fairly safe existence, it has also been very lonely and completely unfulfilling. I'm looking for more. I know it's out there somewhere. Maybe a new friend could help me find it, either pointing me to new places or discovering them with me.

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME

I love watching movies. I also love hanging out with friends. I've done quite a bit of the first in the past 2 weeks, and very little of the second.

Last night I was able to meet several friends of a friend, and contrary to my usual reactions to such meetings, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. In fact, it made me want to move to Arizona even more than I thought possible. Since it's my dream deferred, I've been laboring to repress that longing, but I can do that only for so long. Andrea is a good, old friend. And the people she lives with and those she is friends with are amazing. This gives me hope that when I do make it out here, I may find some normal, fun friends, too.

Because I love watching movies, I also love sharing my favorites with other people. Sometimes I try to stretch the minds and limits of my family by introducing them to my favs. Tonight I attempted this with my mom and sister and the movie Where the Heart Is. Leslie did not enjoy the movie. Several times she commented, "This is the most ridiculous storyline ever. I can't believe I'm watching this." Mom kept the negative comments to herself, but her sighing, which I can interpret better than most (being a sigher myself), spoke volumes. Too much immorality, too much destruction. Luckily, these days I am less swayed by their opinions, in that, if I share a favorite song or movie or book, and they dismiss it according to their values, I am still secure in my adoration of said item. I'm sad they can't enjoy all of the things that bring color and vibrance to my life, but we each have our own things. Thank God I can appreciate that now.

Today, so close to the new year, I feel like I have won in that I enjoyed myself when in my previous existence I would have been too anxious, too scared to open up to new people. I won in sharing some of the things I love with those closest to me, and in thus separating their reactions from my own personal opinions. I may have lost a few things, but it's worth it to be self-assured, secure, and happy. To embrace those around me, first, and question later. To step out in faith and to find goodness waiting. This is why I have won.

Lost and Found

It's strange how "good" friends can disappear from your life without any grand farewell tour or at least a goodbye.

Several of my friends from college have thus disappeared from my life. Sometimes, I think we forget people on accident. And although it's sad that a relationship would mean that little, I think it's probably normal and perhaps how it should be. For if we forget, how can we miss? And if we're not missing them, then we aren't aware of the loss. Sometimes that is a blessing.

In the age of the Web, I am constantly aware of how easy it can be to locate these lost individuals. Tonight, I found the contact info for someone I'd been wondering about since graduation. I hope he writes me back.

Another friend, well, he is gone. He cannot be found on the Internet and I have no other means of locating him. I can't even come up with a mutual friend who might know what happened to him. I am convinced he's run away to a foreign country because of his passion for foreign cultures and his lack of web presence. It would benefit me to forget about him, so I wouldn't feel the loss of his friendship so much. But, alas, I can't.

Last lunch

I guess that's what it was...our last lunch. I went to my favorite restaurant with two of my favorite people here in B-town, and we had a lovely time. Our server, Peter, was so kind and told us we were "fun" and he'd always be our man when we patronized this restaurant.

As we parted ways, it hit me, sort of like a cold wind in the face: that's it. I may never see Jami again. I hope to. I mean, I'm sure we'll be librarian friends across the country and I even hope to be able to work together with her on papers or projects again. We had a great time doing that last Spring. But as for living near each other and being proximity friends, that's over.

Up to the point I turned and walked away, I hadn't thought I'd be sad for a single second in leaving this city, this university. But I was. Not overwhelmingly so, but ever so slightly. Enough to make me stop in my tracks and turn around for one last wave...

I will miss you, Jami. And Kelly, you too, when I leave next Saturday. And Kate, you, too.
There were wonderful things about the past 18 months - thanks, friends, for helping me discover that.