The proposal confusion is under control now - no worries, I'm not getting married any time soon nor to anyone I know.
My dentist thinks I have TMJ, so now I wear a plastic tray in my mouth - like a mouth guard for football players - and I talk like a 12 year old with a retainer. Don't laugh too hard, or at least wait til I've turned my back, when you hear me slurpping through words and lisping.
A boy from campus died just before coming back to TU from Spring Break. He knew several of my friends, and it has been tough here to see the effect of death on a campus. Three kids have died in my time here, this one, though I knew him most of all the three (which still means not at all), this time I've not been emotionally affected much. I attribute that to the post-Ireland Lana. In a way, though, it makes me wonder if I'm simply more callous than I used to be. Super-sensitivity gives way to off-handed callousness.
I watched Garden State for the first time tonight, and I think it changed my life.
Somehow.
I feel like I'm waiting for that one big event that will redirect my life forever - in a holding pattern. I wish that would end, and my real life begin.
10 April 2005
05 April 2005
New Names
My new niece's name will be Katherine Elyse, and they'll call her Katie. I think it fits very nicely with Madeline Grace, called Maddie. Strong names for a strong German family with the last name of Forman.
My niece, Maddie, who is 2 and 1/2, called me her "boyfend" this past week, after being rejected by an 18 year-old friend who was already very much taken. When his girlfriend told her she couldn't have him, Maddie turned to me, ran over and hugged my neck and said, "Then Lana is my boyfend." Despite my assertions that as a girl, I could never fill that role for her, Maddie would hear nothing else - "Lana is my boyfend."
Never been called that before.
My niece, Maddie, who is 2 and 1/2, called me her "boyfend" this past week, after being rejected by an 18 year-old friend who was already very much taken. When his girlfriend told her she couldn't have him, Maddie turned to me, ran over and hugged my neck and said, "Then Lana is my boyfend." Despite my assertions that as a girl, I could never fill that role for her, Maddie would hear nothing else - "Lana is my boyfend."
Never been called that before.
04 April 2005
Torn
all day I've been torn between several things.
1) the craziness that happened to me yesterday - the excitement of getting a free bass and then the insanity of getting a marriage proposal of sorts.
2) yesterday a student on a campus was killed by a car while jogging at his home in NC. he was the roommate to a close friend and a romantic interest of another. it's always hard to lose someone in this community and though I didn't know him at all, we'd chatted on the phone a few times when I called his room looking for his roommate.
3) today is the most gorgeous day ever - Spring has finally arrived with 70 degrees and sunshine.
4) with this amazing weather comes the end of the school year - I have 6 weeks of classes left, meaning 2 decent sized papers and a few tests and only one final. Oh, and the incredible Fair Trade Fair that my senior sem group has organized for April 30th - come check it out that evening.
I am amazed at the blessings God has given me, and yet, some people suffer inexplicably. I wish I could understand the purpose behind it all.
1) the craziness that happened to me yesterday - the excitement of getting a free bass and then the insanity of getting a marriage proposal of sorts.
2) yesterday a student on a campus was killed by a car while jogging at his home in NC. he was the roommate to a close friend and a romantic interest of another. it's always hard to lose someone in this community and though I didn't know him at all, we'd chatted on the phone a few times when I called his room looking for his roommate.
3) today is the most gorgeous day ever - Spring has finally arrived with 70 degrees and sunshine.
4) with this amazing weather comes the end of the school year - I have 6 weeks of classes left, meaning 2 decent sized papers and a few tests and only one final. Oh, and the incredible Fair Trade Fair that my senior sem group has organized for April 30th - come check it out that evening.
I am amazed at the blessings God has given me, and yet, some people suffer inexplicably. I wish I could understand the purpose behind it all.
03 April 2005
Again, Speechless...
Ever had someone tell you that you are the woman he is supposed to marry?
Try that one on for size.
Come again?
Try that one on for size.
Come again?
An Incredible Gift
For maybe the second time in my life, I just found myself unable to speak.
Though I've historically been a quiet person, I always have words to say. But not today.
Paul H., the Marine that visited me last week, just brought me a gift, which he had indicated in an email a few days ago. He said, "I've got something for you and you'd better like it."
He stopped by after church today, unexpectedly, and dropped off A BASS GUITAR. Yep, that's right. He just gave me the most beautiful light blue bass - for nothing. I said thank you, but nothing else, except - are you sure? Why...? His answer, "Because you deserve it." Well that's not true, but oh my goodness. How could I not accept that?
I completely do not understand. Still trying to process - this happened about 10 minutes ago.
God bless that man!
Though I've historically been a quiet person, I always have words to say. But not today.
Paul H., the Marine that visited me last week, just brought me a gift, which he had indicated in an email a few days ago. He said, "I've got something for you and you'd better like it."
He stopped by after church today, unexpectedly, and dropped off A BASS GUITAR. Yep, that's right. He just gave me the most beautiful light blue bass - for nothing. I said thank you, but nothing else, except - are you sure? Why...? His answer, "Because you deserve it." Well that's not true, but oh my goodness. How could I not accept that?
I completely do not understand. Still trying to process - this happened about 10 minutes ago.
God bless that man!
Sick House
Before we left Arizona, almost everyone of the eleven people there was feeling a bit under the weather. Maddie had come down with a cold, fever, faucet-nose, and horrible little cough. Several of us adults had sore throats. When Mom and I left on Friday, she and I both felt worse and worse. When we got home I found Jeffery (my old cat) sitting in a corner, facing the garage wall and looking like he was near death. I tried to force feed him some water - he looked dehydrated and his eyes were caked shut - but it didn't work. The few drops of water that did get into his stomach caused the loudest stomach growling ever - I've never heard a cat's stomach growl. We deduced that Jeffery hadn't moved since my dad left on Tuesday - meaning he'd been without food or water for 4 days. He ate one tiny piece of cat food and I put some milk in front of his face - which he drank. Then he started moving a bit. Saturday morning, the vet confirmed that Jeff hadn't eaten or had any fluids since we'd left for Arizona. "Next time tell them you're leaving," he said.
Today we have to give Jeffery a shot - neither Mom nor I is sure we could do it alone, but if we're both here, maybe. Watching a cat die is about the saddest thing. I'm predicting poor ol' Jeff will pass (is that right, Liz?) by the time I graduate and move home for the summer.
Today we have to give Jeffery a shot - neither Mom nor I is sure we could do it alone, but if we're both here, maybe. Watching a cat die is about the saddest thing. I'm predicting poor ol' Jeff will pass (is that right, Liz?) by the time I graduate and move home for the summer.
What my mom called me tonight...
"Chicken liver, chicken liver." in a sing-song voice followed by an evil cackle.
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