A bangin' birthday (shout out to Calli)

I love that historically my birthday lasts several days, in the very least, and a week or two at the very best. This time around, I had a full week-long celebration. Well, not every day, but the festivities were spread out over a week. It may have also seemed longer because I keep receiving presents. I unwrapped one shower's worth of wedding gifts, a few actual wedding gifts, and then had my first birthday party (a combo affair with my sister-in-law, who's special day precedes mine by twenty-four hours). I kept receiving birthday gifts and cards in the mail all week, along with wedding packages left outside my door by the UPS guy. Although Kyle didn't wrap my gift, per se, it was still somewhat like opening a present, and Cat had a beautifully packaged gift for me, as well (this past weekend). Sunday, I came home to a surprise wedding shower at my Bible study. God bless those girls. So you see, it's been an entire week of gift getting.

This marks the beginning of my 26th year. Twenty-five was so daggone good that I have feared 26 cannot keep up or top it. But truth be told, very shortly into my 26th year, every other year will be topped. We have 3 weeks, less than, actually, until our wedding day. I realized yesterday that every day I can't be with Kyle is now simply annoying. It's lame. But there's still plenty to keep me busy -- what with the dress steaming fiasco, the pinched nerve in my back and subsequent pain that causes me to gimp and hobble around, the car accident I was involved in on Saturday (it was not my fault--she backed into us and we were not moving), and the picture order not going through. I have itineraries to write and people to contact because they didn't RSVP and a billion thank you notes to write (already...geesh! Thank you everyone...that's the precursor.).

Kyle has proven in the last year that his surprises are worth having, so I continue to let him make plans and I try not to be too nosy. As is typical, the day of the event or plan, he makes me take guesses as to what these things could be. Being one who hates guessing (I think it ruins the surprise), I started making stuff up. "What did you get me?" I asked, "well, I'm sure it's a baby tiger." He thought that set the bar a little too high. "If that's not it, I'm sure you're taking me flying somewhere" (you know he flies planes, or he can anyway). He didn't like that one, either. More realistically, on the last guess, I thought maybe a concert -- we love music. But that wasn't it either.

Turns out, we went to a great bistro/diner in Fountain Square (Shelbi or something like that) and had the most amazing smoked dinner ever. Smoked portobello mushroom with goat cheese and I got the best smoked pork loin ever. The veggies were perfectly al dente. Post dinner, we walked a bit and then headed down to an underground Duckpin Bowling alley below the restaurant. In 1950's decor, this place was incredibly old -- restored wood, retro wall hangings, and funny guys behind the counter. Although bowling with a 10 lb. ball is no longer feasible for my broken wrists, this was perfect. The balls are the size of a shotput, I would guess, and while you might think it'd be easier than regular bowling, my scores were oddly parallel to the "real" game.

The weekend was full of laziness and laughter -- two of my favorite weekend activities, thus even better on a birthday weekend.

If I wanted to be honest, I'd say my birthday rocked this year. There's just nothing quite like being with the one you love. And having him surprise you multiple times in a few days.

It's going to be a fantabulous year.

Most of a year later...

I finally figured out how to translate my .avi files from my camera into something uploadable onto YouTube. Yay for that! Get ready for a year's worth of videos.

When Kyle took me to the Exotic Feline Rescue Center in the middle of nowhere Indiana, we got some great short clips of our massive friends there.

This guy was, well, smelling his own urine and then reacting...which was hilarious.



Our favorites were what we dubbed The 3 Stooges, super young tigers that were as playful as kittens, despite their several hundred pound frames.



We caught a short little growl on camera. Kyle kept telling me that when they all started talking to each other the ground shook and it was quite unnerving. I was happy we missed it, HOWEVER we got this little taste of it.



And lastly we have a puma. The shelter held all kinds of exotic felines not just tigers, but we all know I love tigers most. Perhaps that is what angered this little lady. Or, it could have been the dozen or so people standing around watching her eat her dinner. Either way, she was not happy.

How to 'Splain

It's uncommon, I suspect, that after college a person is able to depend upon their core group of friends in the same ways they did when everyone lived on the same campus, or at least in the same town. Moving to Bloomington for grad school was such a let down because I knew that Elaine wasn't across the street, the Liz wasn't in the next room, and Cat would no longer be at my lunch table. The random drop-by's and dinners together in the dining commons were no longer every day nor yearly events to look forward to that involved these essential people.

Sometimes I wonder how I am able to live in this tiny town by myself, traversing the same paths that used to carry me to my people and now direct me to my job or in endless circles around a neighborhood in which I know no one.

Once you leave college, you anticipate the huge events to bring you and those important to you back together, even though you know it can never replicate the bliss of those years of sharing classes, meals, secrets, and long walks around the Loop. Reunions, weddings, these are the events that must reunite all of you. This past weekend, for the first time in four years, I found myself in a city looking at most of the people I dearly loved in college, the ones who met for Tuesday night dinners and those I shared road trips with.

The event that brought us together was, indeed, significant: the girl who is closest to my soul was married in the most beautiful church to a phenomenal man who gets her and appreciates all the things that make her Elaine. I was honored to stand with her that day, but even more so by the words she spoke about me at the rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom toasted their attendants and I was surprised and touched. Elaine and I share so many memories, in fact, I can hardly recall any TU memory that that does not involve her. The first year when we were not close is a blur; I remember nothing. It's as if my life started during that second year, after she befriended me.

As she gave me space to emerge from my tightly-woven cocoon, Elaine shared with me the world of music, writing, and random creativity. Her charge, "Give me three good reasons why you can't go with me..." completely changed my life. Because of her, I found who I am (which was no small task); I found my voice and the path before me, and I struck out with her at my side, fully supporting me.

Having that encouraging, loving presence marks a person -- marks you as someone who is loved, but also challenges the receiver it to pass it on. I learned to love, to be a true friend, to expand my mind and to stick to my guns when necessary through our friendship.

These last few years watching from a distance as Elaine met and fell in love with Jim, I witnessed a growth in her that I wasn't expecting, and I knew he must possess something profound, something intense and wonderful. After meeting him, I knew this to be true.

I did not know it possible to share in so much joy with someone...especially from such a distance. Maybe because I'm going through a very similar stage of life, I am able to appreciate their triumphs and trials. Maybe it's because she and I have a deep and abiding connection. Maybe it's just because I love her dearly.


'Laine, I am blessed by having you in my life and being a part of your wedding day meant so much. Thank you, darling! And Congratulations!

To Jim & Elaine! Many years. Many laughs. Much love.

To honor Elaine

August has continued to blow my mind with beautiful mornings, afternoons, and sunsets. It's been warmer this week, but not dreadfully hot as all Augusts past have been. I'm still in love with all of this.

Tomorrow marks the end of my work week -- my Friday on a Thursday, if you will. I get to travel to Chicago to participate in my best friend's wedding. Prior to the grand event on Saturday, we're hosting a college-friend get-together on the Chicago beach, complete with a picnic. There are many reasons I'm psyched for this weekend. Seeing Elaine officially joined to Jim for life, for sure. Also, seeing Liz for the first time since she moved while I was in Arizona this summer, thus for the first time since I've been engaged and am almost married. Getting back together with some of the sweetest college friends, also, including Sarah M., Cat R., Sus, Sarah & Steve, Elizabeth M., Abby & Katie... And on top of it all, Kyle gets to meet them, to see the reasons why I adore each one and how they've impacted my life. I love these people. To be together in a group with them might make me cry with sheer happiness.

We're staying with another friend of mine, unrelated to this group. She and I met the summer before my freshmen year of high school at an FCA volleyball camp. She caught my attention with a phenomenal vocal performance of "Remember Me This Way" (from the Casper soundtrack), and we've been fast friends ever since. Christina and I only get a chance to see one another every five years or so. It's been at least that long, and to be able to catch up will be such a blessing. This girl is full of energy and love and I cannot wait to reconnect.

I've been anticipating this weekend since March and am thrilled it's finally here!

Midday reflection

I have no memory of a more beautiful August than this one -- little rain, yet enormous cumulus clouds streak the sky every day. The fluffy kind that Katie and Maddie love to imagine into animals and people and other random fun things. The kind the Care Bears lived on. Endless, cotton-esque, and peaceful.

Every afternoon as I leave the library for lunch, I think to myself, "this day is the most beautiful one yet. "

I've seen a lot of the sky, too, as I've been driving day and night, flying to and fro (I saw the most magnificent sunset above the clouds as we flew over Kansas and Missouri last Tuesday), and jogging outside whenever I have a free moment.

As the mayhem of work and life overwhelms me, I look up and am at peace. In those brief calm moments, I can almost hear the entirety of Creation singing. I always want to join in.

So don't forget to look up in the days ahead. Watch the clouds for a minute or two. Remember that peace is always there just waiting for you to notice it.

An interesting consideration

When I turned four, a lot of changes occurred in my life. We moved from a snug little ranch style house by the elementary school to a huge, 3-story home on the lake with a hilly yard surrounded by a woods and a field. That Christmas of 1986 (see the photo), I received one of the best presents ever: a grey teddy bear (by the tree, near Evan's feet).


Because I was brilliant at four years old, I named him Teddy. Mom even wrote his name "Teddy Bear" in white puffy paint on his beautiful maroon satin bow. Teddy became, from that moment on, my constant companion.

He's traveled with me everywhere--camping trips, church camp, on family visits to cousins in other states, to grandparents', to slumber parties, to overnight sporting events in high school, to college in the dorms, in apartments, the crazy house I lived in during grad school and to my first lone-dwelling. The only time I have forsaken him was my 4-month study-abroad trip to Ireland as a junior in college. I reasoned that he took up too much space in my limited suitcase allowance, so I traded him for an equally grey, yet much tinier hippo that I've had since I was very young, as well.

I realized a few days ago that I'm trading in this cute, cuddly grey stuffed animal for a much larger, more bony, person-sized bedfellow. And I'm not sure what to do with this. It's true, the new model will actually be able to converse with me, rather than providing silent support of my rantings. This is a positive. But consider the converse: the new model moves freely of his own volition. He could punch me in the face while sleeping or push me out of bed if he's angry.

I have a strong desire right now to read The Velveteen Rabbit. I always knew Teddy had some sort of real element, just like the toys in that story. I worry that I'll hurt his feelings if I leave him on the guest bed, or worse yet, put him into storage somewhere.

In talking with a cousin who shared similar sentiments about a stuffed animal, she explained that while she sleeps with her dog less often, she could not fully forsake him once she got married. Once you've slept with a thing for 22 years (as I have), something isn't right about not having that thing present. Twenty-two years. I haven't done anything that long (or longer) except live. It's no wonder I balk at the idea of tossing him aside. And yet...how can I keep him?

* Disclaimer: I realize that in disclosing this element of my life, you may come to believe that I am a sentimental fool. Who sleeps with the same stuffed animal for over twenty years? Who waffles over giving it up when the prospect of sleeping with another person presents itself? Who IS this girl? Well, I am a sentimental fool who doesn't like changes in routine, let alone in life. I'm a girl who assigns meaning to nearly everything by naming it (car, computer, stuffed animals, etc.). I'm a girl who believed in The Velveteen Rabbit and all that it stood for, who places importance on inanimate objects to make life more enjoyable. I'm that girl, the one who discloses too much information by way of her blog, just so her friends and family will keep reading.

And we have it...

The first RSVP for the wedding!!

One of my great-aunts is the most prompt invitee ever. Love that! I didn't even know if she was connected to the Internet.

Seven weeks to go, and most things are in order.