I just this very moment found out that I won an award this morning.
Oddly enough, it came from Arizona, and since I live in the Midwest, it was at first perplexing. Let me divulge the title of the award, and then we can talk specifics.
"Looks the Most Different from When They Wake Up to When They are Ready for the Day"
At first, I said, "How could I win this award? I don't even wear make-up." And my hair isn't really too crazy when I wake up, usually just a few more waves than day-time hair. I was baffled.
Then I got to thinking, and digging deeper, I found a few reasons why my 7-year-old niece might find me "most different" from waking to leaving the house.
- My very thick glasses that reduce my eyes to the size of peas.
- My plastic mouth splint that covers my top teeth and prevents my jaw from fully closing to spare me from TMJ disorder face pain.
- My hand braces, which keep my wrists straight and prevent the carpal tunnel pain whilst sleeping.
Those are three very significant changes that, in fact, are more transforming than make-up to a seven-year-old. It's beginning to make sense. These pieces make me somewhat robotic when I sleep and upon waking, could be potentially scary for a little person used to seeing such transfigured images only in their crazy child dreams.
At that point in the conversation, my dear sister piped up: "Well, don't forget your wheelchair and IV pole. Oh, and your metal leg." Which certainly could complement the above list. But thanks, Em, I'm not quite there yet.
Oh the minds of the young! How free and hilarious they can be.
Today I had the great fortune to revisit an old stomping ground: the Orthodontist.
I had years of orthodontic work done during the ages of 12-14. Back in 2005, my senior year of college, I returned for a new problem, no longer crooked teeth and crooked jaw, but a clenching jaw causing popping and clicking and pain about my face. I continued to visit the office for the duration of my grad school studies.
About a month ago, during a particularly stressful period of time, I found that I'd wake up in the morning with my jaw clenched tightly against my specially-made jaw splint that is to prevent clenching. That brought me to the conclusion that I'd worn down my poor device so much by clenching and grinding in my sleep that it needed a significant adjustment.
Thus, this morning, I found myself back at my old orthodontist's office, saying hello to some faces I've known for half of my life, changing my name in yet another medical office, and seeing new assistants gazing into my open mouth who are far younger than myself. That was, perhaps, the most startling part.
Of course it had been three years since I'd last seen my orthodontist. I trust him implicitly with my particular jaw needs, and thus I refuse to find one that's a reasonable distance from my home. While reading my chart, he asked the fewest number of questions possible to get the information needed, made the necessary adjustments to the splint, and then, stepped around in front of me to chat for a minute. When he found out I was a librarian, he shared that his brother is a librarian at a prestigious NY school and began regaling me with the difficulties that all librarians are facing with funding cuts and the loss of resource budgets.
As he chatted, he lowered himself into a nearby chair and removed his paper mask and I found myself shocked by how much he has aged in just three short years. Somethings about him don't change, like his wild red, curly hair, his most notable feature, although it was less robust than I remember. But other features were markedly different: his eyes were a bit sunken, his face wan, his belt very tight against his thin frame. I began to wonder at his age, then at how long he has dedicated his life to perfecting teeth and helping stress-filled people like myself cope with strange jaw-related issues like TMJ disorder. It's interesting to think of having a profession in which you can so concretely measure your success. He's helped x number of patients and corrected x number of orthodontic problems. My profession has absolutely NO method of measuring how we help people, even though that's a large part of what I (we) do.
It's funny, and seems very odd to even say this, but I will always have a soft spot for my orthodontist. He was always cheerful, even when he was ripping out glued-in appliances and some of your teeth along with them.
Ahh, here it is again. This restlessness.
What am I waiting for? Or hoping for?
I can't determine if it's simply the days and months leading up to winter that cause this unsettledness in me, or if it's really something else. And what would that be, that something that brings disquiet to my mind and anxiety to my soul?
I don't recall if a year has ever passed by that I haven't felt this. It's so familiar and yet unwelcome.
Instead I desire peace and tranquility of mind and spirit.
But this is my reality. Oh, to change that. Would that I knew how.
Has anyone ever really wanted their face plastered on a billboard?
And by anyone, I mean any regular Joe-Schmoe. Maybe Hollywood personalities have desired that their whole lives, but by golly, I have not.
You could tell me to count my blessings because, in fact, I will not have my face on a billboard. However, just recently, I have been made the friendly face of the library for an advertisement that is to be a web page "banner" regarding our new Information Desk. They wanted a picture of it. Sure. No problem. With a person at it, okay, small problem. All librarians hate to have their pictures taken. And, I might conjecture, being a younger librarian, some believed it to be a good idea that younger faces = better advertisement. Breaking molds, removing stereotypes.
Thus I have found myself photographed at our Info desk, on a Friday morning, really not wanting to be there, and showing my Gottschalk chin. Dang it. Can't escape it. For the first time I look old.
Not my best moment. Too bad it was captured on film and is soon to be posted to the web site.
I love it when the seasons pass by each other this time of year, the slight chill in the air requires soups and hot beverages enter the weekly, if not daily, diet.
In early October I began making soups. I've made several, although at this point I can't remember all of them. One was Alaina's Grandma's recipe for Cheesy Smoke Sausage soup. Delicious. Another was chili, which is always divine. Beef vegetable was really good, too. A new recipe.
I've been using the Crock Pot at least once a week, which Kyle thinks is slightly ridiculous, and he could complain about that were it not for the fact that he loves almost everything I've made (there have been, of course, a few bombs). Emily supplied a few cookbooks full of Crock Pot recipes, and I feel equipped for the winter months now.
ANother thing I decided in October was to start making a special concoction of cider, cranberry juice and cinnamon. I'm not even certain where the recipe came from, but it warms your home with the incredible smells of cooking apples and cinnamon. Plus, it is sweet and warms you right up.
Mid-October, I went directly to the Hot beverage aisle in Meijer and found my favorite tea medley: Celestial Seasonings' Fruit Tea Sampler. What's interesting to me is that they change one or maybe two of the fruit teas that make up this divine box. This year they added Blueberry. Now, I've had blueberry black tea before. It was pretty good, but it doesn't even hold a candle to the flavor of this one. Plus, this herbal version is caffeine free, a growing necessity in my life. I've had Blueberry tea every day this week. Mmm-Mmm-Good.
While I can't even pretend to like winter, I do like having hot things: food, soup, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, hot cider, and electric blankets. Those things are fun. So I guess I'm thankful there's a time of year where I can have or use all of these things in rapid succession for months on end.
Happy November!
It began as another typical weekend day. We overslept because of our ridiculously comfortable bed combined with a down comforter from heaven. I expected nothing spectacular.
Then, while entering some financial information into our monthly budget sheet, I had a HUGE realization. Today was the day we would become debt free.
I believe we began addressing the debt issue on a strategic basis in January of this year. That would mean that in 10 months we were able to knock out debt equal to one of our yearly salaries. This exceeds my imaginative powers.
We could not have done it alone. My sister coached us along, provided a fully-formulated worksheet into which we could plug our own financial state and see how to budget appropriately. My brother and his wife provided the reading material that would change our lives: Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I know Ramsey seems like a fad, but let me tell you that his plan is hard. It's painful. It's not fun, and yet it is 100% logical and in some ways fool-proof. If you follow what he says, you will find that the weight of your debt lifts quickly.
I also believe that when you are faithful to God with your resources, He will bless that. Thus, we had a great deal of one-time extra money come in this year, thousands of dollars, that also made this possible.
I'm in awe of this process, of how quickly (though at times it seemed long and impossible) we could create this budget, follow the guidelines, even managing a small vacation and some fun weekends with friends, and come out on top in less than a year. Praise the Lord!
To anyone who is discouraged about debt or money issues...I do highly recommend giving Dave Ramsey's solution a try. Even if you despise him, try it and see. You can even modify it to fit your lifestyle, to an extent. We didn't do the cash system because we don't have a bank nearby. We use a credit card, but we pay off every thing as soon as it shows up. We use a debit card. But we do keep track of everything we spend and we've spent less than we would have had we not wanted so badly to get out of debt.
Thanks to our parents and grandparents for the help they provided, and the examples of living responsibly and within one's means. Thanks to our friends and siblings who understood when we couldn't do fun things because of cost. We still can't, actually, because now it's time to save for a house. Bigger and better things await!
It's a big day. Hard to fully comprehend. My school is paid for and when I start school again this summer, we can pay in cash! God is good!
People amaze me. Not in the "wow, that's incredibly awesome" way, but more "why would you do that" sort of way.
I've just been through a particularly difficult week because of one seemingly small situation. I keep playing scenarios over in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong or if I did what I've been accused of doing. My conclusion is that I did nothing wrong and yet, why do I still feel defeated?
I'm so lucky to have Kyle around. I think I may have lost my sanity last week had it not been for him. Lord knows I desperately needed support.
Even though I fully believe that sometime later in life this particular situation will prove to have been a useful learning experience for me, that cannot change the fact that I'm shocked at the lengths people will go to to prove themselves correct, to "win". Every year I am more aware that keeping score in life is counterproductive. Nobody wins when we keep track. Everybody loses.
Last week, everybody lost. And it doesn't feel good.
