It's 5 am. No one should be up at 5 am, least of all me when I haven't slept more than an hour all night. But my pulse is racing and I'm not sleepy. Exhausted, yes, but wide awake. I laid down in my bed at 12:15, but didn't sleep. Every sound in the apartment increased my agitation, which was already high for no apparent reason when I lay down. I didn't know what was wrong with me. At one point, I felt my body shaking, all over, not convulsively, but almost imperceptibly, and my heart rate was speeding up. At 1:30, when I still hadn't slept, I got a drink and tried the bed again. Nothing. At 4 I got up for more water, wide eyed. The whole night my heart has been beating rapidly and erratically, I think.

It might be the medicine that I picked up from the health center yesterday, I vaguely remember reading that sleeplessness was a side-effect, maybe. I can't find the literature here in my dark room to double-check.

I'm apologizing in advance to everyone who sees me tomorrow (or today) for being irritable and short. I know it's going to happen and I'll inevitably hurt someone's feelings. I always do.

And no, it's not that time, as boys like to assume is the only reason for foul moods in girls. It's not, so I wouldn't recommend saying that to me.